December 31, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept great last night 1 am until 8 am. I did not wake Debbie up
at 3am but at 8 am I woke Debbie up changing her depends but it was
ok. I wasted no time and got Debbie up in her chair and we went to set
by the Christmas tree and I got Deb’s food and meds together. This
was a slow morning but at least Deb is calm. When Krystal got up she
watched a movie with Debbie so I could fix Krystal’s breakfast.
One of the things I miss the most is taking Debbie to different places all
the time. The New Year is one of those times you always remember
where you were. In 2004 Debbie and I were in rehab. In 2005 we were
in this house watching New Years on TV. In 2006 we are still at home
and will watch it again on TV. Normally we would go to the ocean or the
mountains every year was different.
Today at least Debbie was calm. I spent most of my day with Debbie’s
right leg to the side of her wheelchair and over my leg. I can tell when I
do this Deb’s pelvis does not hurt as much or at least Deb is a lot
calmer. Day like this I have to stay busy to keep from felling the pain of
what I have lost. The girls are spending the night with friends and this
house is to quit.
Debbie used the big Mack switch to turn the Christmas tree light off but I
do not think Debbie understands that today is any different than any
other day. I see Debbie slowly disappearing right in front of me every
day and there is nothing I can do about it and that what hurts the most.
Atrophy of the brain stem is the issue and I have to learn more quickly
before all of Debbie is gone. Well it is 1 am 2007 and Deb is in bed but
not a sleep so I need to go lay down with her.
Today was a sad day but with the sunrise I know tomorrow will be
better.
December 30, 2006
Jerrall-
It has been a long time since I have posted. This is my first day to feel
normal after going 3 or 4 days with out sleep. Amber went to Naples,
Fla. for Christmas for a few of days. Amber needs the brake but it left a
three man job for me to do a lone. Krystal was home from college so
that was a lot of help. Still every time I get horizontal I go to sleep.
Debbie is doing well but with this issue we had to take a break from the
Ambien tests. During the holidays we have not got any medical phone
calls or e-mails returned.
I have a list and next week there is no reason not to have some answers
even if I have to set at the doctor’s door until some one will listen. The
list is to long for this post but next week I will post the news after the
Doctors tells me the answers.
Debbie has been doing great with every thing sleeping at least 6 to 8
hours a night. More oral suction during the day than at night. I have
made an oxygen line for the nebulizer for the breathing treatments. We
are up to 4 treatments a day but if I can get some rest and do more oral
care it will get better. Speech said I needed to put Debbie in a nursing
home while Amber was out of town but Debbie would not last a night any
where but at home with me. We do not have any more speech but
Debbie is still here. Since I have been working with Ambien and Atavan
it is great to see Debbie come alive and do thinks like it was her first
time. Some time Deb looks around to see if anyone is watching her. It
is a great joy to see. The last week Deb has needed her depends
changed twice at night. We have to do feedings the same time every
day for every thing to work. Debbie has been regular at the rest room.
Since the Doctor has cut Deb’s Klonopin in half Debbie has two blisters
on her big toes. No standing this week. Three out of four times Debbie
is turning off and on the Christmas tree lights. Oxygen drops have only
happened a couple of times but only at night not lasting long.
To night Krystal and I took Debbie to a couple of stores where they used
to shop together. When we got home all three of us watched a movie
before bed. On the way to bed we stopped by the restroom and Debbie
has been holding it the whole night while we were out. But as soon as I
set Debbie on the stool she went potty on her own and then # 2. This is
worth noting because Debbie was cognitive enough to control her
muscles. Then we Krystal helped give Debbie a shower. I never ask
any one for help but in time they see all that needs to be done and help
where they can. Mrs. Love your ceiling lift we use every day and has
made such a difference in Debbie’s lift there are no words to tell you
thank you. We got Debbie in bed, dressed and fed. While I put on all of
Debbie’s braces Krystal dried Deb’s hair. I set back and watched
Debbie go to sleep ½ way thru getting her hair dry. It was like watching
artist paint a picture. Krystal was having fun and when she was finished
Krystal said moms a sleep I must have done a good job. By now it is 1
am and right on time.
December 28, 2006
Amber-
Mom did a great job today. She did flash cards we have not done in a
year with no problem. Her PT class was perfect she was mouthing to
him and using air and he understood her well. This is the first time he
could make out what she was saying. He was excited and mom had a
good time. She did a few flash cards, sit to stand transfer, and the lite
gait. Mom held her right leg down on her own without a weight. She
held her right hand on the handle rail and did not fight to pull it away.
When her hand came off she calmly put it back or let us put it back.
This was so wonderful. 10 minutes after this great time mom started to
gasp for air. How is it possible to be so up to come so down. We
worked on this for a bit dad had to work with her.
It is 12:30 at night and mom keeps gasping for air and holding her
mouth closed tight. In doing so she can not breath, she does not breath
through her nose so she is not doing good. Why again is she having
such a hard time when she had such a great day. I hate, hate to see
her like this. I am worker her jaw open and trying to get her to relax and
breathe. It is like when you get so cold you stiffen up and hold your
breath. I am not yelling at her but trying to let her know I am here, calm
down, it is ok. I am not freaking out but this is not the way to do this, she
does not have to suffer, she is just scared or something and her body is
over reacting. She was almost scaring me, like she was fighting herself
she was trying so hard and wanting me to help but could not help
herself. She does so good and tries hard everyday. I see huge
improvements and then dad gets up from a nap to see the down fall.
I am very proud of you mom, hang in there this is just a long hard
journey.
December 27, 2006
Amber-
Today mom, Krystal, and I had a good time. During OT class mom used
her new big remote to use the TV, turned the Christmas lights on with
the button, and marked on the marker board. She kept her attention on
the marker board the entire time. When Krystal showed her the marker
board for the first time, Krystal took her finger to wipe off the marker.
How cute, mom is doing the same thing. If mom made a mark she did
not like she would use her finger to smug it off. Mom colored all over
the board and if Susanne made a mark on it mom wanted it off. I
enjoyed this activity so much. Susanne said that mom really enjoyed
this and was relaxing to her.
Mom and I did sitting balance several times and she did great. Thanks
mom.
December 26, 2006
Jerrall-
Again another great sleep for Debbie, midnight until 8 am. I even got
enough rest if do the 6 am feeding while she slept.
All day to day Deb was calm but not following my commands. Tonight
was shower night and every thing went great. Susanne can today for a
session I was taking a nap. Amber spent most of the day with Debbie.
Amber-
Mom had 2 really calm times today. Each time we did sitting balance
and also had a great sit to stand transfer. Mom and I really enjoyed
ourselves today. We gave mom a nice relaxing bath tonight. She
seemed to love it.
CHRISTMAS 2006
December 25, 2006
Jerrall-
Well I got my present. Debbie is still with us and not sick; but she is still
in a Minimally Conscious State but that ok at lest a point to begin with.
Debbie had another good nights sleep from 12:30 am until 8 am. Both
girls are here now so we were extra quite this morning. We started off in
the kitchen and ate and then oral care. Debbie mouth looks great it
only took 5 minuets this time. For about the past week I have noticed
Debbie breathing out of her noise more and more. Also Gina that takes
care of Debbie’s hair said she can feel more warmth from Debbie’s head
than ever before.
Last week Debbie’s meds were cut in half, causing a lot of extra tone.
We have talked to the nurse and even e-mailed the Doctor and she said
she was writing a new script for some Atavan but a week later we have
no PRN meds. This will be first the thing to get done tomorrow because
both feet have skin braking down at big toe and PT said no tennis shoes
for right know. This is not way to live.
This morning Debbie was calm and time went so fast. Then Krytstal and
Amber showed up and the day got started. We all went to the living
room and as we pasted the Christmas tree Debbie would not turn the
lights on. Debbie was starting to get jumpy so I got her 5 mg Ambien
bring her to life and making the tremors so much better.
It took a couple of hours for every one to unwrap gifts; there was lot
laughter and only two sad times where no one could talk. Let’s just say
the Girls made a Christmas for Debbie Thank You for all the other times
you girls have made possible.
The rest of the day Debbie was calm with vary little tremors. After we
finished all the presents. The girls and Deb watched a movie and I took
a nap from1 pm until 5:30 pm. This has been my first to sleep alone in 4
days.
Tonight could not have better Debbie and I lay on the time machine mat
in the dark looking though the window at all the Christmas lights and with
a great message Debbie is loose all over. This has been our 4 th
Christmas since the accident and I think the best yet. Christmas is not
about material things but family.
Amber-
Mom is pushing the big button each night to turn the Christmas lights on
and off, how cool??
December 24, 2006
Jerrall-
This morning Deb got up about 8 am and was calm. Debbie went potty
and that is what woke her up. I cannot wait to talk to that doctor about
this issue. Yesterday and today
December 23, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept great last night asleep at 1:15 am and did not wake up until
11 am. No suction or extra oxygen needed last night. Deb did not even
wake up when I changed her depends. After not sleeping two nights in
a row and I not giving Debbie any Ambien, which brings Deb to life, she
has been sleeping and needs this rest. Still today, the drug store has
not gotten the script for Atavan. The Doctor has cut Deb’s meds in half
and Debbie has broken skin on the knuckle on both big toes. Debbie is
so tight and everyone is off for Christmas who cares about Debbie. One
person said for Debbie not to wear her shoes for a few days. I don’t
think that is the answer for pain and recovery. I have the wrong type of
extra meds which Debbie cannot even turn the Christmas lights on or off
today. That is a terrible way to live drugged into a coma state. Maybe
Tuesday after when everyone is back to work, this issue can be fixed.
Debbie does not have any days off for the holidays only the issues she
faces every day.
December 21, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie never went to sleep all night long even though I laid in Deb’s bed
with her for 3 hours. Debbie would not even let me put any of her
braces on so I had no choice but to sleep with her. Positioning is the
most important part of a brain injury to prevent contractures. I did not
give Debbie any extra meds to get her to go to sleep instead we just got
up. It has been months since Debbie has not slept two nights in a row.
Any time this happens, Debbie is super “on” and the therapists have
great sessions. Again today, Debbie has been able to control the
Christmas tree lights on and off.
I forgot to note that last night before we took a shower Debbie went
potty in the commode on her own. This is a first time in over a year for
this to happen even though we try often. If Debbie was on every day we
could make great progress in Deb’s recovery. In time, this will happen,
but first I have to learn to take one day at a time. I can remember a year
after the accident driving to the Outer Banks Deb would start shaking
her foot and I would pull of at an over pass get out the potty chair and
Debbie would go on her own.
Debbie ate at 5 am this morning. I am trying to find out if Deb is hungry
why she could not sleep.
Amber went to Naples, Fla. for Christmas with a special friend today and
after no sleep lately I sat Debbie in her chair in the living room. Debbie
could watch the Christmas tree lights and I could lie on the sofa with a
hand on Deb so I can tell what was going on. I do not know if it was 1 or
2 hours, but it made a difference just that little sleep.
About 9 am we started our day in slow mode. It took me until 11 am to
really be a wake. At noon, Dee came and fed Debbie while Krystal and I
finished all of the laundry and cleaned the house. Krystal even sweep
the den carpet. We had to stop cleaning to get Debbie ready for a 2 pm
PT session with Brian.
Brian commented about how tight Debbie was how on she was, but after
2 nights with no sleep Debbie did not want her leg bent. The more
pressure Brian used, Debbie would resist twice as much. It was an okay
session, but Debbie was so tight we even talked about increasing her
pump more. At three pm, I laid Debbie on the mat and just let her rest
for a while.
We had a BIG issue at 4 pm. Debbie was taking short breaths; Deb’s
oxygen level was dropping from 96 to 90. Debbie’s pulse had dropped
from 64 to 60. Two oxygen treatments made no difference. Debbie air
way was clear as far as I could tell. Debbie’s right eye was rolling
around but not like a seizure. It was more like Debbie had been “on” for
three days and no sleep and she was crashing. Debbie has never had
this low of pulse ever and if it drops below 60 I will have to call 911. All
of Debbie’s limbs are cold so I got a blanket and tried to warm Debbie
up.
What I do not understand is with an 8 liter flow of oxygen, I could only
get oxygen level up to 95. Extra oxygen always took Debbie up to 100
%. So I wonder if Debbie’s lungs not working right with me doing two
breathing treatments. Or was Debbie taking too shallow and short
breaths? Was there a plug in Debbie’s airway? Every thing can be ok
for days, weeks, months and then something like this could end Debbie’
s day. I know it is a Nero thing. Also you have to be calm and not make
Debbie nervous even if it takes 2 hours or more. This is why I do not
leave Debbie with any body.
About 7 pm, everything was back to normal. We will just have to see
how to night goes.
Tonight I was sitting on Debbie’s left side and twice Debbie turned her
head and looks right into my eyes.
Today was a great day after all that had happened.
December 20, 2006
Jerrall-
This morning started at 4:30 am when I was changing Debbie’s
depends. I woke Deb up. I went ahead and fed Deb her 6 am breakfast
and meds and then got in bed with her. Debbie put her legs over mine
and we let gravity stretch them out. Still Debbie would not go back sleep
so we got up about 7 am and went and set by the Christmas tree.
Debbie is alert enough to pull the suction wand out of my hand. We
also had to do a breathing treatment this morning.
When I got back at 11 am, I had to lie down. I am so tired this morning I
did not even wash Debbie’s face or much oral care. I woke up at 2:30
pm and I still feel like I am half here. I do not have dreams when I get
tired just dead sleep. I cannot believe Debbie can go three days at a
time with little or no sleep.
I missed everything today. They brought the big mac switch and hooked
to the Christmas tree and Debbie was able to turn on the lights by
herself. She also hung decorations on the tree.
OT Susanne was here and Debbie was working with play-doh with her
left hand or the weaker hand. With no extra meds today, Debbie did
great with her Case Manger, OT, and Technology Tech. Everyone was
getting smiles and hand shakes. It was one of the best sessions to date.
Debbie and I rested on the mat for about an hour and then up in her
chair for oral care. Debbie was grabbing everything I put in her mouth.
It took almost an hour.
As we went to the living room tonight, we pasted the Christmas tree. I
held up a large 6”disk and asked Debbie to push the button so we could
see the tree light up. I have been waiting 44 months for this day.
Debbie turned on the Christmas lights. We watched only half of a movie
and the girls came home and it is shower night. We pasted the tree
again and Krystal held up the button. Debbie turned the lights out for
the night.
After we got Deb to bed around midnight, she would not go to sleep. It
is now 3 am and Debbie is trying to talk even after we gave Deb her
night time meds.
Today was the most “on” day since August of 06.
December 19, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night Debbie slept from 2 am until 8:30 am with no oxygen drops.
The only problem was Debbie was so upset when she went to sleep,
Deb would not let us put any braces on. So when Deb got up she was
in knots. Her arms, legs, and neck were all tight. This cannot happen
too often.
I got Debbie up at 8:30 am and Amber took it from there. I laid back
down until 10:00 am just a little sleep. It goes a long way.
This afternoon Krystal made me finish the out door Christmas lights. I
think now it is about 6000 lights and Krystal’s 8 feet tall Globe. If all
Debbie gets from all of this she will know it is Christmas at least.
Two years ago Debbie helped unwrap her presents, but last year Deb
could not help. I pray for just a calm day on Christmas that would our
greatest gift.
I now have all of Debbie CT-scans and MRI films. Now to find a person
that can calculate the time line atrophy of the brain. Tonight I do not
know if in a year from now Debbie will even know who she is or who I
am. So I have to find a Nero doctor ASAP.
Tonight Debbie and I sat on the patio and watched the sun set and then
when it was dark we looked at the Christmas lights. I put a real heavy
blanket on Debbie and we even went in the front yard. It was great for
Debbie to understand everything.
To night we are watching a DVD Titanic before bed time. It is now 11
pm and Debbie is just starting to calm down. Every time Deb sees this
movie it is like the first time.
December 18, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night, Debbie went to sleep at 1:15 am and stayed a sleep until 8:
30 am which is great, even though it took extra meds. I had to give Deb
two breathing treatments during the night and only two times did her
oxygen drop to 90%. No extra oxygen tonight and the level came back
up in a short time on its own. Debbie is always stiff when she first gets
up and this morning we had time for a short stretch. I always tell Deb
about how she would always take off her sandals and walk in the sand
bare foot. When we would get back to the truck I would pour water over
her feet and Deb would jump as if it was 20 degrees. Those were great
days, but at the time I took them for granted. After the night, I was so
tired I could not see out of my eyes. So at 6:30 am Amber changed
beds and I got up at 9 am. Just a little sleep goes a long way.
OT Susanne came at 4 pm and worked with an e-stem trying to get that
left arm working. Susanne has worked with Debbie for a little more than
a year and has the patience it takes to deal with a brain injury person. I
never tell Susanne, but you have made such a difference in Debbie’s
life.
At 5 pm, both girls went out and the house was so quite. Debbie and I
laid on the “time” table mat on our side and watched the sun go down. It
was great and one of the opportunities we live for. About 6:30 pm, I got
Debbie up and we went into the living room by the tree and Deb ate and
had meds. We are watching Christmas with the Kranks.
Debbie was very jumpy all night and required extra meds. We even
tried going #2 before bed time. When Amber and I put Debbie to bed
about 11:30 pm she never went to sleep until Deb used went #1 at 1:30
am and with more extra med Deb finally went to sleep by 2 am.
What a day!!!
December 17, 2006
Jerrall-
Again Debbie slept through the night and awoke at 8 am when she went
potty. Probably 6 hour is getting to be a new sleep cycle. For me the
last few nights I have given Deb 2 to 3 extra breathing treatments and all
suction has been clear. In that deep sleep I can not hear Debbie
breathe and after the treatment I can feel her lungs go up and down and
I can hear deep breaths. When I changed Deb’s depends at 3 am Deb
did not wake up but from rolling her around Debbie coughed several
times and I was able to catch it with the suction. Debbie cough is getting
stronger but if no one is there to catch it Debbie would choke to death.
With Amber gone on weekends I do not sleep from Friday afternoon
until Monday morning and I can tell that I am getting older or tired. Also
about Debbie oxygen level dropped like last night so I put the oxygen
line on her pillow at 4 litter flow. With that Debbie shoot up to 100%
right a way.
When Debbie woke at 8 am she was kicking and throwing her covers in
the floor. Debbie was vary mad, and her depends were extra wet. It
was like she was holding it as long as possible. I got her depends
changed and Debbie up in her wheelchair without even taking time to
get dressed. I could tell Debbie needed to get up as fast as possible.
With all of that rolling Debbie coughed and I catch it with the suction
wand. Some one has to be with Debbie 24/7 or she would choke to
death.
We started our day in the kitchen eat and med, facial and oral care
which took 2 hours. Debbie was a little calmer but still some thing is
wrong. So I laid Debbie on the mat and gave 5 mg Ambien at 11am and
it did not work for 3 hours which can seam to be forever. About 1:30 pm
was the first day to go Christmas shopping. I wanted to get some thing
that Debbie would use and Krystal what about bath salt like Debbie used
to use, great idea. Debbie did great shopping all day and I could tell the
Ambien was working. The girl in the bath shop held up a lot of products
and let Deb smell and Debbie would smile for yes and would shake her
head for no. It made the girl cry, I guess no one knows what to think or
how to help.
To night Debbie was full of energy as if she had been at home all day.
Another think Deb held her potty all day that is getting more often. To
night I gave extra meds for sleep. We tried to go two the bathroom
before bed with vary luck. This is the first time Debbie has had an up
set stomach. We will try again tomorrow night.
To night we got to bed by midnight but Debbie did not go to sleep until 1:
15 am.
Shopping today and seeing Debbie looking every where was great.
Great Day
December 16, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night Debbie had a shower, but did not go to sleep until 1 am.
Then during the night, her oxygen dropped for several hours. It was
OK. We have a lot of equipment with two breathing treatments, oral
suction, and extra oxygen supply. I did not get much sleep and one time
during the night I even changed Deb’s depends when they were not
even wet. That tells me I am too tired. Debbie slept ok and went to
sleep about 1 am and got up at 7:30 am. While all this extra work was
going on, Debbie did not even wake up, but who knows how much rest
Deb really did get.
Krystal came home from college for winter break Thursday and has
been on me for days. Krystal got the kitchen and bathrooms clean first
and then Kris and her friends got all the leaves up about 11 hours for 4
people. Next she said that I am not missing Christmas this year and
took me shopping yesterday for decorations.
This morning I got Debbie up early and with no sleep and I did our
normal routine. Amber had to go to work, so we could not put the lights
up and leave Debbie alone. So when Krystal got up she told me to lie
down and get some sleep while Krystal watched Debbie. Debbie also
had 5 mg Ambien and Krystal said they a good time. When I got up, the
three of us watched a TV show. Before long Amber came home and
told us to hurry on the lights because Amber needed to go. Every
Saturday Amber leaves and comes back on Sunday night. Debbie and I
are trying to become more independent.
About 4 pm Krystal and I started to put the outside lights up. Krystal
bought an 8’ globe with a family of snowmen. When Krystal first saw it
she said a FAMILY WOW!!!!! We got Santa and the reindeer on the
roof and the front yard ice cycle lights up before dark. Tomorrow we will
have to finish. Tonight Krystal saw something I have been hiding for the
last two years. Just putting Christmas lights up and decorating the
house when Debbie is so sick not even caring about material things.
This stress makes throw up and I did right on the roof in front of Krystal.
I am back down to 168 lbs. I am still trying very hard to eat and keep it
down.
Tonight Debbie is jumping and jerking and very unhappy. This is what
happens when Deb takes Ambien in the morning. At 8 pm I gave Deb
extra meds, but no relief until 10 pm when Deb went potty. This week I
hope to find a female Doctor that can help Debbie with this issue. I did
not pick up the MRI and CT-SCANS this weekend because I want to
meet Theresa who got 3 ½ years of history together for me. Monday, I
will get more information about Debbie’s body than I will ever want to
know.
Tonight Kris helped me get Debbie to bed about midnight and Debbie
only took 2 hours to go to sleep.
In all, it was a good day.
December 15, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie went to sleep last night at 1:15 am and Amber had to wake
Debbie up at noon to be ready for therapy. The only reason Debbie
slept so long, I think, was from the 5 mg Ambien. Debbie had been on
so long yesterday morning. Ambien keeps Debbie alert for 4 or 5 hours,
but she calms down after 10 hours. Debbie is so tired she passes out
and who knows for how long. Also Debbie had Atavan Tuesday and
Wednesday. Still Atavan is better than Ambien.
Today, Debbie has been extra tight and not with us. The tremors are
uncontrollable. We have an e-mail into the doctor about when Deb is
jumping and what drug she needs for it to be fair to Debbie. Hopefully
next week, we will have a plan.
Today was great. I finally talked to the hospital and arranged to get
tomorrow all of Debbie’s CT-Scans and MRI films and comments
tomorrow. I cannot believe it is all free. I am going to make this work
some how, it just takes years to figure it out. First, I need to know how
fast atrophy is occurring and then are the brain signals getting through.
As far as Debbie’s day, it was a hard jumping evening and then extra
meds and a shower. Tonight was different also because of Debbie’s
oxygen level drop when she was asleep. For several hours, Debbie
kept going from 90% to 94 % oxygen level and her pulse was high. I laid
an oxygen line on her pillow with a 4 liter flow and it kept Debbie at 99 to
100 %. Her pulse went back to normal.
December 14, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept from 12:30 am until 6 am when I woke her up changing her
depends with extra meds. I could tell Deb waited a couple more hours
sleep and me too. This morning we got right up and watched the
Christmas tree for two hours while doing a breaking treatment and oral
care. Debbie has been extra tight all day and her right wrist twisting. It
hurts for me to see Debbie jumping all the time. At lunch I gave Debbie
5 mg of Ambien and it took about an hour for it to take effect but it
brought Deb to life and no more tremors except in Deb’s mouth.
PT was 2 hours late and Krystal and Debbie played with play-dough for
an hour it was great to see. We have done all we can to keep Debbie
going it is now 4:15 pm and still no therapist. Krystal watched one TV
show with Debbie and now they are back in the den playing with the play-
doh again.
At 4:30 both OT and PT came and worked with Debbie together and it
was one of the best sessions in a long time. The Ambien had started to
wear off but the tremors did not stop Debbie this time. I told Susanne
and Brian the doctor cut Debbie’s med’s in half and I gave Deb the
Ambien on my own and it calmed her down but as of now I have no PRN
med as of now and tonight when Debbie gets tight and jumping what do I
do. The Ambien will keep Debbie awake so that will not work. Hour by
hour and day by day.
Krystal told me today her friend at college parents want to come over
and fix dinner Saturday. She is a PT and he is a MRI person and I would
love to meet them. Tomorrow I want to go to the hospital and get all of
Debbie’s CT- scans to date on a disk so I can find a second option on a
lot of things. Most people give up after 4 years but I am just getting
started.
WOW!!!!! I laid Debbie on the time machine mat on her side so she
could potty like she always does this time of night. I feel a sleep for two
hours with Debbie in my arms and until Krystal walked by did I wake up.
I am so used to Debbie kicking and jumping in my arm I did not notice
she had a mucus plug and could not breathe. OK I got Debbie up and
her mouth cleared and I am still in a daze. I am used to this life but it is
new to Krystal. After 1 hour of craziness everything worked out. I got
dinner started for Krystal and Debbie’s bed room ready while Krystal
took care of Debbie with extra meds. Debbie can not lay level for that
long with out chocking and getting pressure sore on legs and arms. By
the end of the week I can not trust my self I am so tired. I hope Debbie
never DIES in my arms or my shift but better me than the girls. No win
either way. Now Debbie is up in her chair watching the remake of
Bewitch and it is almost bed time and yes I am awake. After a bath I
pray Debbie will go to sleep tonight after that Ambien today at noon. We
will see in time.
December 13, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had a good nights sleep again without extra meds and this is
happening more often. Amber helped me give Debbie a shower and off
to bed the only problem is I fell a sleep holding on to Debbie’s right leg.
That is ok but Amber left me there when she went to bed and I woke up
two hours later stiff and too old to sleep setting up but it is all OK and
just part of one of those new memories. Today is Wednesday and
Amber’s day out of school so at 7:30 am with Debbie still a sleep I asked
Amber to change beds. I got to sleep until 11:30 am. I still can not
believe what sleep can do for a persons attitude. When I got up after
prepping Debbie’s bedroom for to night Dee was here with Amber and
Debbie. Finally Dee gets to see me not tired but she said lets see what
you look like tomorrow when Amber is in school. Dee makes such a
difference in my day. Dee I wish I knew you 3 years ago this would have
made this so much easier.
Today was another rush day Debbie has an appointment to have her
peg tube replaced. So with extra energy I said Dee watch Debbie,
Amber make all the calls and I will load the jeep since Krystal is home
from college for Christmas. What a little sleep makes.
Krystal on her first day home from college instead of sleeping she had
three friends come over and they spent six hours getting my leaves
bagged up. They tell me tomorrow they will be back to put Santa on the
roof with the reindeer. When Debbie comes first and cannot ever be left
alone there is no time to even fold clothes. Last year our girls made
Christmas for Debbie and me. This is imposable to explain I was not
even thinking about Christmas just keeping Debbie alive through the
night. Thanks girls with out you two I could not do all of this alone. I
know I have something live for but that takes second place Deb comes
first. I am the last to know any thing that goes on around here.
I never knew until this tragedy happen how important family is not to the
Mom or Dad but more to the kids and that’s what it is all about. I am
never too old to learn something.
The Doctor’s appointment went great but the day went so fast. Tonight
Debbie and I are watching the Kranks Christmas on DVD. Debbie is
starting to jump very very bad so I am going to have to lay Deb down
and drain the extra saliva in her throat. Even though there are a lot of
good things still Debbie is vary serious and this may be her last
Christmas with us. It is about 8 pm and Debbie needs to potty and lay
down. We turned every which way on the time machine mat and still no
luck. It took 2 hours until 10 pm for Debbie to relax and potty and stop
jumping. In these 2 hours the girls made dinner stir fry and it smelled so
good I left Debbie on the mat and grilled some dill shrimp to go into the
stir fry. Amber made her chicken to go in her stir fry. More important
Deb laid on the mat lone enough for me and the girls to eat together at
the table. That never happens. Still Debbie has not potty and I tell her
we are going to get up and watch a movie and when I uncovered Deb
and she went. But still Deb had to be on her side to potty. Amber said
today she would make an appointment for the potty doctor. I am still
learning every day.
It is 10 pm and too soon for bed so Deb, Kris and myself are watching
RV. Debbie is holding my hand and a small kick with her right foot. This
seems to be the only way to past time at 10 pm and Deb enjoys it.
Amber is in the other room studying for finals tomorrow.
December 12, 2006
Jerrall-
Well today is the day at 4 pm Debbie will get her yearly CT- Scan to
check for water or proper drainage in Debbie’s head. Over the last
three mouths Debbie’s mental stats has declined and we have to know
what is going on inside of Deb all the time since Deb can not talk and tell
us.
PT Brain came at10 am and Deb set on a 30” ball and Deb was
harnessed to the LiteGate. The goal was to push with her legs and rock
the ball. Debbie pushed 10% of the time over a 15 minute time and
could not hold her head up after the first 5 minutes. These are the
things that are not like Debbie that tell me some thing is different. When
we laid Debbie on the mat to rest after the session it was like she
wanted to go to sleep.
Debbie slept from 12:30 am until 5:30 am 5 hours is good for Debbie. I
hope Dee comes soon I need Debbie’s med from Eckerd’s for the CT-
Scan. The truck needs loaded with pillows and bags I keep ready to
always leave at a mounts notice. It would be nice for some one to stay
with Debbie while all of this has to happen. Great Dee got here @12
noon and what a help. Dee and I spend enough time together Dee
keeps me on tract as know more about how hard this is better than any
one. I was doing oral care were Ruth the nurse called and said she
would be here in 45 minutes to get labs on Debbie so that means we
can not fed Debbie on time and I have a time limit today. Dee went to
get the meds and I finished Deb’s mouth extra saliva today. Ruth came
so I still have not fed Debbie and I can not stop time. I lay Deb on the
time machine and Ruth and I tried to get a urine sample. But it would
not work I told about how I have to turn Debbie on her left side to get her
to void. Ruth said ok do it and it worked does this mean anything? As
Ruth finished and left Dee said OK this is the way it is going to be Jerrall
you go get Debbie’s food and I will feed her while you load the truck.
Thank god for Dee I have got so little sleep in the last 44 months some
times I go in circles. By 2:30 pm Debbie and I were on our way. Debbie
is extra calm today even with ½ the meds. Today Debbie has been in a
cloud and not really with us.
When we got to the CT plaza everyone was so nice without filling out
papers we were taken into a private room and some one did all the
paper work while I gave Debbie 1 mg Atavan to reduce the tremor in
Deb’s mouth and tongue and we watched TV for a half hour until the
meds took effect. After ½ hour all the meds did was wake Debbie up
and Deb was looking around every where. It was great to see Debbie
come alive it has been over three weeks. When they checked with us I
said the tremor is still in Deb’s mouth but lets try if you want to they said
lets go for it and try. When we got in the room I asked where would you
like me to lay Debbie and she said right here. Everything went great the
first time and I picked Debbie up and placed her back in her wheelchair.
From 3:30 pm until 5:30 pm Debbie was right there with me. Then she
is with me but the tremors are getting worse. There is no permanent
drug to fix this issue no matter how much I want there to be. I am
learning to be thankful for every good hour we get and that has taken
years to learn.
I have also learned over the years my best friend that told me to have a
great day 4/4/03 will never be back to be but like best friends are
forever I can now only keep Debbie from ever being alone, never feel
the pain I have learned, and help Debbie to recovery to her best ability.
We have so many old memories and two great kids and now we are
making new friends and new memories. I have learned a lesson only
few people will ever know and would not wish this lesson on any one.
Since Debbie’s accident often they have taken MRI and CT-SCAN to get
a base line and to check a time line of Atrophy or deteriorate. I have
never set down with Nero to see how fast Atrophy is taking over and
decline of function is occurring. I can see for myself a decline in the last
two years but now I need to know much to push Debbie. Every three
months we have been tracking Deb’s lungs. When you are not mobile
you only use the top ½ of your lungs this is an issue. We are trying to
use a cough assist machine to blow air into Deb’s lung and it also sucks
it out. Debbie will hold the mask over her nose and mouth so it must feel
good to have take air move around it can not hurt. Next week I will be
getting more information about brain pressure and atrophy and the
connection to the spinal cord. Debbie has a lot of cell lose but I believe
because Debbie was crushed that scar tissue deep in the brain keeps a
lot of signal from getting though. This is too much to learn and should
be left in god’s hands. All I want for Christmas beside for Debbie to still
be with me and use be at home not the hospital is for the girls to make a
pray network for the many brain injury people in this same position. The
more people a where of this silent issue maybe more research can
make a difference. Every brain injury is different but a lot is like Michael
J Fox. Still a lot is left up to each family faith can make a difference.
Only action can make a difference.
Most Sever TBI people have as many issues as Debbie and by no way
would I want any one to compare one injury to another and I am thankful
for every day we have to say goodbye.
Deb best friends forever and good or bad times but one day at a time
for now.
December 11, 2006
Jerrall-
I took today off for the first time only. Amber spent the day with Debbie
and I went over to help Krystal get ready to come home for her
Christmas break tomorrow and out to dinner. I listened and learned a
lot about my youngest daughter I never took the time to learn. I am
trying so had to get though all of this but only my girls know how hard it
is.
When I got home Debbie and I lay on the time machine mat in the den
with the lights off and the patio lights on so we could see every thing out
side. I rubbed every muscle twice and we shared an ear piece each to
the IPOD!!
Today was a great day, not perfect but what is. Better than most.
December 10, 2006
Jerrall-
We have a friend in China for the next three week that is a brain injury
person also getting stem cell treatments. Not many people read this but
the ones that do need to add him to their prayer list. Please spread the
word for group prayer to keep them strong.
His site is www.justiceformichael.com. Michael Mobley is his name.
December 8, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept great last night I was a wake and ready to change her
depends at 2:30 am and Deb did not even wake up. This is a trick
because Debbie sleeps at 30 degrees at the head of her bed and you
can hear great deep breaths. But as soon as I lower the head of the
bed down to change Debbie you can not hear her breathing any more
so you have to have everything ready before you start and be fast once
you start. Debbie did not even need suction all night long. I change
bedrooms with Amber at 8:30 am since Debbie was a sleep and doing
so well. When ever I change beds I can only sleep a couple of hours
and get up feeling worse than I did before I went to sleep. May be an
after noon nap would be better.
When I got up and saw Debbie at 11 am so up set and about to jump
out of her wheelchair I stole her from Amber and got her on the mat. I
had to hold on tight to her and sing blue skies over and over again. It
took a ½ hour to get Debbie calmed down. Even when we got off the
mat some thing was still not right. I took the right side of Debbie’s arm
rest loose on her chair and put her right leg in my lap and did a ½ hour
prolong stretch. The tremors got a lot better I can just since some thing
is hurting in that right hip and any one doing a wrong transfer can set
Debbie off and they do not even under stand why. Even with extra
Debbie really never ever calmed down. I did ½ hour of oral care and
even a facial and Reiki music nothing was working.
Three and a half hours later I lay Debbie on the mat and gave her 5 mg
Ambien and with 15 minutes Debbie was calm but not tired. It is 3:30
now and I want to lay with Debbie on her side before we get up.
At 5 pm we got up off our time machine and went to watch the Christmas
tree we can see the sunset any time. That is the new name for the mat
in the den by the picture window where we lay on Debbie’s side and
watch the leaves grow and turn colors and then fall off. The girl got me
an I POD last Christmas and put a couple of hundred of Debbie’s and
mine old songs. Lately I have one ear piece in Deb’s eye and the other
one in mine. The songs Debbie doesn’t like she pulls her ear plug out.
Today we heard from the coma doctor and she has written a script for a
ct scan for Debbie. In the last 2 months Debbie has been going
backwards and I want to know what is going on inside where I can not
see. Amber call the brain injury association for our state and Debbie
has the best Brain Doctor this state has. What could have happened
for Debbie to get discharged from speech?
December 7, 2006
Jerrall-
I though last night would never end, I was checking Debbie every ½
hour and as of 3:30 am Debbie was doing great depends were dry and
stats were great. I must have fallen a sleep and when I woke up at 4:30
am Debbie was going crazy jerking and kicking and mad as a hornet.
But wait can a TBI get mad cognitively. Debbie was soaking wet and
who knows how long. If you do not notice this right away and Debbie
wakes up the night is over and you can not stop the jerking for hours.
Debbie just got discharged from Speech and today has to be a good
day Debbie has OT and PT today. So after I got Debbie cleaned up I
gave Deb extra meds and sleep with her or you can say just hold on and
try to calm Deb down. We both fell a sleep and after a couple of me
being bent up in that little bed I had to get up. As soon as I did Debbie
knew and I had to get back into bed but this time I rolled Debbie on her
side and got into bed with her again. I can see why Debbie can get so
stiff because she can not move on her own. When I woke up I could not
see Deb’s eye’s to know if she was awake. So we both just laid there
but at least every one was calm. After ½ hour my back hurt so bad I
had to get up. By then it was 9 am and I had to get Debbie up and now
we have to hurry because we are late starting the day.
I got Debbie up and dressed breakfast and meds in record time a ½
hour. Doing oral care took about an hour because we are now using
the heater at night. I have a special humidifier in the bedroom that is
working great. Today I wanted to do things differently.
At noon I got Debbie up on the tilt table for 15 minutes before therapy
started. It worked great and loosens up Debbie’s legs and calmed the
tremors.
1 pm OT came and we talked about how to give Debbie choices in her
life. I showed Susanna want speech was working on and I am going to
get a big Mac switch. We have tried this before but may be Debbie is
ready now to understand how to make this work anything is worth a
chance.
2 pm PT came and we used the LiteGate to set on the ball and push the
ball or rock the ball. PT was happy with this session.
3:30 pm Dee the CNA that is helping Debbie made me go eat while she
tube fed Debbie. With out Dee there are a lot of things I would not have
time for THANKS.
I let Debbie rest on the mat twice and her wheelchair twice and Debbie is
just getting more jumpy. I even laid on with Debbie on her side once. I
am not a Doctor but Debbie is not able to potty and this is the problem;
their should be some way to drain this issue on a pill or something. If
Debbie is more a where of her surroundings and has an issue with the
way her fractured pelvis healed then positioning could be an issue. It is
8 pm and Debbie finally potty. This is only 4 hour over due. Still Debbie
is getting more up set after a calm day. It is not some thing you talk or
think about but I have to check every night and some nights Debbie
needs a suppository and to night is one of those nights that accounts
for some but not all of the jumping. In a half hour it will be shower time
and Debbie can take care of business. That is one thing Debbie will not
do in her pants.
I have always said no one will make this happen any faster recovery will
come in its own time. It takes a team to have recovery at all now speech
is gone we will just have to work smarter. Debbie has a 5 “heel
contractors on her right foot but I have made a wooden wedge and we
use a cut up palates mat cut into strips to place under Debbie’s heels. It
works with the standing frame, tilt table, and now with the LiteGate. All
girls wear high heels some times you just have to think out of the box.
What I do not understand is brain atrophy it has been almost 4 years
and every day it is like we loss a little more of Debbie. Some TBI last 20
years and some do not if I could understand better. We had a rushed
day but let’s say it was a great day. Off to the shower that has to make
a good way to end a good day.
December 6, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had another great night except more debris in Deb’s throat. I
got Debbie set up in the living room. Amber got Debbie’s tube fed and
meds and met us in the living room. Once I knew everything was ok
Amber worked with Debbie and I laid back down. I got 5 hours straight
sleep that has not happened vary often. This afternoon Debbie was
calm but would not respond to me but that is ok. We watched a movie
together my arm under hers. Debbie is in side there but not wanting to
come out and play today.
Tonight Amber helped me and we got Debbie up in her LiteGate.
Debbie never stood on her own but for 10 minutes Deb got great load in
her legs. Then we pull her back off the treadmill and let Debbie stay in
LiteGate harness and lowered Deb down on her 30” ball. After another
10 minutes Debbie had load in both feet and was bouncing on the ball.
Debbie held her balance great. Then I laid Debbie down on the folding
mat removed Deb’s socks and shoes to check for pressure marks on
Debbie’s feet. They were both great except the tone was gone and
when Debbie moved her ankles I could hear a snapping noise which is a
great thing. After a 30 minute rest I put Debbie’s socks and shoes back
on and her toes were relaxed and went back into her shoes to where a
hour ago they were all cramped up and vary hard to put Deb’s shoes
on. Amber helped me and we put Debbie onto the tilt table and we had
another 10 minute stand. Debbie’s ankles are so now and I know they
have to feel better. It is 10 pm and for a treat before bed the three of us
are watching Jack Frost the movie. We asked Debbie if she wanted to
watch and she nodded her head yes. It is amazing to have had sleep.
I do not know and brain injured like Debbie every brain injury are
different. Debbie is hurt more from the car smashing her left side.
Debbie is missing 3” where her left lung was crushed and this causing a
lot of breathing problem. I take one day at a time and to day has been a
great day. I still believe not one knows the future it is one day at a time
and make the most you can of each day you get. Debbie and I have
always lived that way and I have no regrets.
Amber-
I had a good time with you today mom. It took some time to warm up but
all in all we got a lot done. Hey mom and you got the standing frame
done.
December 5, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept well last night first good night I can remember. I was doing
oral suction at 7 am and woke Debbie up. Deb acted surprised but was
not jumping. I got Debbie dressed and up and just in time for Debbie to
watch Regis and Kelly. After Regis I washed Debbie face while Debbie
was watching the Christmas tree and when I went to rinse her cloth went
I came back Debbie was almost a sleep. I let Debbie rest for almost an
hour since this would be Speech’s last visit.
Things did not go like you would think we only talked about Debbie for a
few minutes. Then the conversation turned to me. With just the right
questions Speech, Dee and Debbie all learned too much. I broke and
said things no one needs to know. Now Speech does not want to leave
me alone. At the pace I have now Debbie may live longer than me. I
have never asked for help but every one can how tired I am. Every one
wants to help but no one knows how. I showed Speech how I have been
working on getting nursing help in the home. I finally have all the
equipment I just need help using it to keep Debbie alive. It is apparent
too every one that I am at the end of my rope. Speech had me put a
call into Debbie’s case manager and make sure Jessica knows how bad
it is. PT walk into the door and took Debbie in her wheelchair into the
living room so speech and myself could finish are conversation. Nothing
was settled but too many people know how hard this is. There are a lot
of other people in my shoes and I pray it is not as hard for them. Finally
every one is gone and Debbie and I can be alone.
Lila Speech discharged Debbie because Debbie would not respond to
her, also Lila could not tell me why Debbie has went backwards in the
lass three months. I told speech I would not put Deb on a ventilator and
she understood. Also I might be close to that and most important enjoy
all of the good days and they will come with days I can not change.
Speech sees how I can not let go of Debbie now and what will I do when
Debbie is really gone. Lila wants me to start counseling now to make
this transition.
I have never asked any one for any thing in my life and now they want
meet to accept or get ready for Debbie not to be in my life any more. I
will talk to some one but I can not think it could help. I still have Krystal
and Amber life’s to live for and there future but it doesn’t make a quality
of life decision any easier. What Debbie and I have you can not find just
any day. Since I was 8 years old, 40 years. Most of the time I can not
be mad at the man that did this it was just an accident. But at the same
time I do not want to sign a DNR order. This is my problem and only I
can work it out.
Vary had day-
December 4, 2006
Jerrall-
To night Debbie alarm went off twice. At 4 am Debbie was 83% and I
gave Debbie a 5 liter flow of oxygen and could only get Debbie up to
90%. After some work and a breathing treatment Debbie came up in the
upper 90s. Debbie never really woke up during al of this. About 5:30
am the alarm went off again it is almost like apnea as I was running
down the hall to get to the oxygen room Amber asked me want was
going on. I said I can handle this. After 1 ½ hours every thing was ok.
The respiratory system is Debbie’s greatest weakest.
I slept all most all day so I could be ready for tonight.
December 3, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept from 3 am until 9 am last night which I will take six days any
time. With Krystal’s help getting Deb to bed was no problems but Debbie
just laid there calm until 3 am. I kept checking Deb’s depends but they
were good. At 3 is when I checked her depends again and as soon as I
touched Deb she went a flood. So as I cleaned Deb up she started
snoring sound a sleep. There is a problem of some type with Debbie
being unable to use the bathroom when she needs to or affecting her
ability to sleep. Last night I only need to clear Debbie’s air way three
times (oral suction).
9 am start the day with a sponge bath in bed and get dressed. Any time
I get Debbie up from the bed or mat during the first thing we do is to
place my right foot and leg on the mat and place Debbie’s feet over my
legs. This is a great stretch for trunk and legs. I move her leg in a circle
and all directions even wiggle her toes. At the same time I tell Debbie
the same story I am sure Deb is tired of hearing it. Debbie I will always
remember when we have been at the beach and you have wanted to
take a walk. The first thing before stepping off the board walk onto the
sand you will take your sandals off as not to get the sand in them. I will
always remember how great that sand would feel between your toes and
how you always wanted to walk for miles. About 30% of the time Debbie
will look in my eyes and give me a smile. PT and leg exercises are what
the most important thing to Debbie is right now. Not speech!
By 10:30 am we make it into the kitchen and Deb gets meds, formula
and facial. Krystal did half the work and I all so made a great breakfast
for Krystal and myself.
Around noon the three of us watch a little TV together.
By 1 pm Debbie worked out on the mat and then lay on Deb left side
and watched the day go by. It was now 2:30 and time to have lunch and
I am making a few notes while Debbie is looking out our west sun set
window. If only I could what Deb is thinking but with any extra meds there
is only a slight tremor in her tongue. You never see Debbie this calm
maybe it is the Reiki music.
December 2, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept last night but not many long but Deb’s stats were great all
night and only needed suction three times. At 5 am Deb did not even
wake up when I changed her depends. But at 6 am when I went to fed
Debbie she was a wake to my surprise. But soon after Deb ate she
went back to sleep. I have been trying to feed Debbie every 6 hours so
there is always food on her stomach. Again at 7 am I traded rooms with
Amber but still with meds I could sleep 3 hours.
December 1, 2006
Jerrall-
To day has been a hard day even though Debbie has been very calm
today. Last night Debbie slept great and at 7 am I asked if Amber we
could change beds since Debbie is still a sleep and I could get a couple
of hours extra sleep. When I got up at 10 am Amber had got Debbie out
of bed and they were in the kitchen getting ready for Gina to come
over. Gina is a great friend that highlights Debbie’s hair for years.
Today was Debbie’s Christmas present. THANK SO MUCH GINA.
I have no idea how Amber get Deb out of bed Amber will not use the
ceiling lift. When Gina left we took Debbie to the showers and double
washed out Deb’s hair. Then we had less than an hour to get Debbie in
the truck and make it to an eye doctor appointment. I actually had to
feed Debbie in the truck to be only 30 minutes late. We wanted to stop
by the mall to eat but Debbie was having a saliva issue. We got home
and got back into are routine. Debbie never got up set all day but
seeing how it is getting harder to take Debbie any where hurts so badly.
Then come in and see Debbie not able to move at all and all of this
equipment every where hurt even more. I cry several times every day
but don’t let Debbie know. But there is no way to hide these feelings
from Amber. To day I even told Amber she needs to move out with one
of her friends because this is the worst way to see some one die so
slowly. We have worked so hard, gave up our home and have come to
the point where we have too much money going out and not enough
coming in. Debbie and myself have been living with Debbie 1 ½ and
have no idea what is the next step. Krystal lives about 30 minutes away
and Amber needs some room also. Maybe Deb and I need to get us a
small condo. This could be over tonight or years. Debbie is in a
minimal consist states. One day Deb might wake up so I need to be
with Debbie until the end. One day at a time. I still can note accept
there is nothing I can do to make a difference in Debbie’s recovery. It is
up to God and Debbie.
To night Debbie and I sat in the dark and watched the lights on the
Christmas tree. Deb appeared too really to connect with this tree.
Debbie can not talk but if you watch her right eye it says a lot.
Later we watch a Christmas movie and by now it is time to go to bed.
Mrs. Love the ceiling lifts work perfectly. I put one tract over Deb’s bed,
one in the bathroom and one over the tilt table. It got Debbie into bed by
its self. With out no help getting Debbie to bed it was impossible and
takes twice as long. I never have had this much trouble. Debbie on
therapy meds wanted to get out of bed (raising her head and shoulders
off her pillow) like never before. I usually hold Deb’s right side and get
Deb to relax into her braces some one else is feeding via peg tube on
Deb’s on the other side of the bed. Debbie doesn’t see vary well on her
left side. To night I had to feed Debbie and hold on to her at the same
time. After Deb finished eating I had to take all of her braces off and let
her do what ever she wanted. Both bed rails were up and the room was
dark so I just lay in my bed and made sure Debbie was safe. With out
her braces on all of her limbs was tight and curled up, or drawn and
after a few days it would take a lone time to get back like before. So
some thing has to give I guess more meds but this will affect cognitive
work tomorrow. It took a long time for Debbie to go to sleep and I was
so upset.
I know under stand my I get so mad or upset at bed time I can’t believe
Debbie is hurt so bad (paralyzed). Debbie can not talk or control her
muscles she would be bed ridden if I was not here for Deb 24/7.
