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Southern Illinois. At the age of 8, I asked Debbie if she would wear my ID bracelet. We were
best friends all through school. In school Debbie was one of those people that did not have
to study and made straight A’s. Debbie has always loved to read and help other people. By
5th grade, Debbie was only 5 feet tall and never got any taller. All through the school years,
Debbie also had a large responsibility of raising her 4 brothers and 2 sisters. Debbie did
not have a father and her mother worked a lot to be able to support the large family. Since
the first time I met Debbie, I had that special feeling. My mom always told me that I was too
young to understand these feelings.
In 1975, we got married and had our whole life ahead of us. Also in 1975, we moved to
Odessa, Texas for me to work in the oil field. After a couple of years, we moved to Long
Beach California where I worked for the Shell Oil Company. We had to go where the work
was. With no family in California, we soon moved back to Dallas, Texas. Debbie started
college, and I went to work in the home building market. In 1979, Amber was born in Dallas.
We lived at 9505 Royal Lane. Debbie took a break from school because she wanted to be
with Amber. Debbie wanted to personally teach Amber about life and be with her when she
took her first step or said her first words. Debbie, Amber, and I were more like best friends
than parents. We did not go any place where we could not go all together. I took Amber to
school on my way to work, and Debbie would pick her up in the afternoon. In the mid 80’s
when the bottom fell out of the oil market in Texas, we decided to move and start all over
again. Debbie was pregnant with Krystal, and we were on our way to Connecticut. We
camped in the Smokey Mountains for 2 weeks. Debbie’s favorite thing, before the accident,
was to walk 3 miles every day. We loved to hike to all the waterfalls. Some had black top
trails and some were rocky trails. We have never been around water and not had a good
time. We wondered why would they make black top trails, and now we know. I hope to use
them this summer, which will be 2006, in Debbie’s wheelchair.
In 1987, we lived in Connecticut for a few months, and we all talked about what was more
important: money or happiness. We moved to Charlotte, North Carolina in August of 1987
because it was so close to the mountains and the beach. In January of 1988, Krystal was
born. There was 12 inches of snow on the ground. It took 7 years for us to have another
baby. With 2 girls now, our moving days are over. Together we started a family business
and a new life. Debbie was still able to be there for the girls as they grew to be young
women. We have so many pictures and memories of 15 years together. The girls
sometimes say what happen to that girl in the picture. The mountains, the beach, and
everything in between, just being all together at home.
In 1998 our lives changed again when Amber went off to college. The day we moved her
into the dorm and when we got in the car on the way home Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
came on the radio Debbie and I both cried. I guest we both hoped Amber would be ok; she
had never been on her own before. Debbie and I never talked about our feelings that day,
but now I would give any thing if we would have. I know I had such a hurt inside it was as if
Amber had died. No one ever said it would be this hard to let go. Most parents are just glad
to get rid of them. With this big change behind us Debbie, Krystal and I talked about Krystal’
s future and her school. We moved to a house out at the lake, Krystal went to a smaller
school system, and we decreased the company’s men and volume by 2/3. Again we had to
make a choice about money or happiness. After seeing want it was like to let go of Amber
we wanted to make the years left with Krystal the priority. We keep a boat in the water at the
marina year round. Krystal’s back yard was the lake and water sports. Debbie and Krystal
went for walks almost every day. They read books together and worked on home work at
the table at least 2 hours every night. Debbie, Krystal, and I found peace and a new quality
of life at this new pace of life that money can not buy. The Christmas before the accident
Debbie redone down stairs as a rec room for Krystal as they do on while you were out for
her present. Who would think 3 months later Debbie would not even to go down stairs
because of her wheel chair or even not be able to go for walks.
The girls got older, and Amber off to college. Debbie found she had extra time, so in her
early 40’s, Debbie went back to college. Debbie was studying to be a Natural Pathic doctor.
We called Debbie “Daisy” after Granny on the Beverly Hillbilly’s. That was on TV when we
were kids. Debbie did believe in herbal remedies, but not in drugs or medicines. Debbie
was also studying REIKI, the touch of healing. She also studied Quantum healing for about
6 years. Debbie was also involved in or with Acupuncture. We still have Debbie’s medical
books on the shelf to this day with the book marks just the way Debbie left them 3 years
ago. Debbie had all of us on special diets, and she was walking 3 miles a day at least 5
days a week. When you think things cannot get any better, things change that are out of
our control.
On the morning of April 4, 2003, Debbie took me to where I had a truck parked, and Debbie
told me to have a good day. That was the last time Debbie has ever talked to me. Debbie
went back to the house and picked up Krystal. They began their trip to school. At 8:05 am,
Krystal called me on my cell phone, and she told me a man dropped his cell phone and ran
the red light. He hit their car in the driver’s door. Krystal was trapped in the car with Mom.
Debbie’s neck appeared to be broken. Krystal said when the EMT got there, she over
heard they would be flying Debbie to the hospital, Carolinas Medical Center. Krystal was in
shock and wondered what she was supposed to do. I called Amber, and I told her to go pick
up Krystal. I would meet them at the hospital. This is where our new
journey of life begins for all of us.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called the
PRESENT!
I am not afraid of starting over because Debbie and I have started over 6 times counting this
TBI. What I am afraid of is starting over with out Debbie. I am trying but I can not sleep for
the dreams and when I eat I still can not breathe and end up throwing up. From a 36” to a
33” waist I have to eat. It is easy to say this or that but Debbie and I have been connected
since we were 8 years old and I feel after this want do I have to look forward too. Why, how!
Jerrall “06"