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Jerrall-
As of today, Debbie is blind in both eyes. Debbie’s good right eye looks
like all of the blood vessels have busted and it will be Monday before we
can see a doctor. Also today Debbie’s pulse/ox is hard to get a signal
because Debbie’s hands and feet are so cold. I still have socks on
Debbie’s feet and hands to try to keep her warm. I never dreamed what
it would be like to be with someone until the end. Debbie is still getting
better treatment than in a facility. It feels wrong to love someone so
much. By talking to the nurses, it might be over by Tuesday. The new
meds are stopping the tremors, but suppressing the lungs.
Today Debbie seemed like she was in a coma in her wheelchair. She
only opened her eye one or two times. Also Debbie’s limbs are so cold.
Now being blind in both eyes, there is no more pleasure in life for
Debbie. So I laid Debbie down early at about 8:30 pm. And I got in bed
with her. I rubbed all of her limbs and wrapped my body around her to
warm Debbie up. I talked to Debbie about our life and all that we had
done. At some point, we both fell asleep. At least Debbie knew she was
with me and never alone. With Debbie’s harder to breath pattern, we
are down to a matter of days. And it important to me to be Debbie’s
eyes.
God if you take Debbie to night please show me my next step. Every
minute for over 4 years I had cared for Debbie and I am going to be so
lost. I sure need your help now than ever before.
Amen!
June 29, 2007
Jerrall-
Debbie has not really been awake for several days now. Debbie has
been asleep even during the night and I still keep giving her the new
meds. Debbie does not have oxygen drops any more and she is still on
extra oxygen 24 /7. Debbie’s kidneys are starting to shut down. I can
tell because of the amount of urine output. Debbie had a catheter put
in on Monday, so I could measure level of output. The output
decreases every day and Debbie good eye is full of slime all of the
time. To look at Debbie, you would think she was asleep, but Debbie is
just resting. After this week, Debbie can barely hold her head up on her
own. Debbie is at peace and went to sleep last night with her head
resting on my arm on the big black mat. Debbie knew I was there and
she felt safe. Krystal spent the night and we all slept in the den with
Debbie. In all it was a great night. Debbie only needed help 3 times last
night. Krystal stayed asleep the whole time.
This morning Debbie had great stats at a one litter flow and I turned her
over to the 7 am nurse, I went to sleep for three hours. When I got up
Debbie was still asleep and I asked the nurse to give her a bath to try to
wake her up. Debbie’s arms and leg are still freezing and Debbie was
wearing my thermal suit to bed and felt super warm. I love spending
nights with Debbie because I know what she has gone through the night.
I pray Debbie knows how hard I try and she is never alone. With organ
failure, I have no system to expect. This is in God’s hands now. I know I
can keep Debbie calm and at peace until that time comes.
June 26, 2007
Jerrall-
Well, I finally got what I wanted. Debbie no longer jumps and has
stopped panting when she breaths. Debbie went to sleep in her
wheelchair yesterday and has not woken up as of this afternoon. I still
work with Debbie as I did when Debbie was in a coma. No one would
want to be my wife because awake or asleep you cannot stay in the bed
all the time. Debbie has been shutting down for several weeks now; we
just did not understand what was going on. The first thing someone will
do on this final journey is to have very cold feet and hands, so I have
double socks on them which makes me feel better and Debbie’s feet
warmer. Soon they will start turning blue and that will be hard to take.
Nurses leave at 11 pm and Debbie and myself are alone. I put Debbie
in her bed and lay next to her. Debbie never moves, maybe because
she knows she is not alone. I do oral care 3 times a day and the last
two days deep nasal suctioning. Last night, I got 3 six foot long suction
canisters hoses full from Debbie’s lungs. To me, this is comfort care
and I am about fed up with all of the rules with all of the people that or
just trying to help. Even Forest Gump knows how hard it is to find best
friends.
Debbie’s oxygen stats in 2 weeks have went from 98% on room air down
to the 80’s on room air. Now Debbie wears extra oxygen all the time.
The lack of oxygen may be why Debbie sleeps so much. At night, I
always hold on to Debbie to make sure she is breathing. Just looking at
her, she looks at peace as if she had passed.
We have had great fun since the accident. The first 3 and ½ years
there was no suction or oxygen issues. We went to the Outer Banks 5
times and that is where Debbie always felt closest to God. I remember
that poem “Foot Prints”, when I looked back I saw only one set of foot
prints because I was carrying you. Debbie loves sunrises and sunsets
and the beach more than anything in the world. I know when I take
Debbie back to the Outer Banks, she will be in my heart and not in her
body. It will be the same at the mountains.
June 25, 2007
Krystal-
God always has a plan for all of his earth angels. He is the one that
decides when it is time for the earth angels to become “his” angels. My
mother has always told me since I was a child to try my best and that
was all I could do. Everyone grieves in different ways. Some are
sadden by Mom’s final journey, and others believe it is time for her to
become a real angel. I just want everyone to know that Debbie will
always be remembered for who she really was. She was a friend, wife,
and mother. My mother’s spirit will live on forever because of all the
lives she has touched. All I ask is for people to stop and think at least
one time a day. Think about what you are truly grateful for. It is then
that it will not matter how much money you have, but that you can walk,
talk, or even think. True happiness comes from within, and I believe
that my mother would be happy for me, my sister, and my father. I know
she will always be looking down on me from heaven, and I cannot wait
until we can meet again.
Be Thankful For Everyday and Live Life to the Fullest!
June 24, 2007
Jerrall-
Last night was the first time for us to sleep in the den and everything
worked out well. The first part of the night went good, and then at 3 am
the pulse/ ox went off even with a 2 liter of oxygen. The drop went down
to the mid 80’s and it took a ½ hour to get Debbie above 90 %. I did not
give Debbie any Morphine all night long. Morphine is not the miracle
drug I wanted it to be. Everyone that thinks their loved ones will be on
muscle relaxers for more than 3 years need have that love one blow out
a candle every day. Having a person blow out a candle is a great way
of testing lung strength. Stay on top of the atrophy. Debbie’s decline
was more from being smashed and the lost of half of a lung. The lungs
can deteriorate in weeks or months. With Debbie not able to blow a
candle out and MRI does not show everything. How the lung doctor can
tell is by the rate of decline of stats. Debbie has gone from 98% on
room air to the upper 80’s in 4 months. Debbie is on extra oxygen ¾ of
the day and all night. They tell me at one point no matter how much
oxygen I give it will not raise Debbie’s stats.
No one knows how they will react to each issue. I feel like I wish this
could be over today, but that is not the right way to think. I am so lucky
to have the last four plus years with Debbie. In the last week Debbie
has dropped to the upper 80 % oxygen level and that tells me Debbie’s
lungs are all most gone. Again the lung doctor told me last week that
comfort is the goal not how low the stats are. Just give Debbie extra
oxygen and what every meds it takes to keep Debbie comfortable. This
is not the way it will be for most people but with three different injuries
Debbie has a bad prognosis. The last three days Debbie’s stats
dropped more every day. I will continue to be with Deb, but her body is
changing. Deb’s face and shoulders are starting to turn red. I do not
know what this means, but some new things are happening. The nurses
say when I am with Debbie her pulse drops by 20 points. It is 12:30 pm,
and we’re watching Twister and Debbie is holding my hand and even
gave me a kiss. If Debbie only knew what was happening.
The nurse got here at one pm and I went straight to bed. I slept most of
the day. I do not know why, but it could be the stress, or the reality of it
all, or just plain tired. Every time I got up, the nurse said go back to bed
because my face looked like I had been hit wit a 2x4.
After reading the book, The Final Journey, I realized Debbie had been
on this journey for several weeks. The nurse told me to day the first
thing that will happen is the feet and hands will stay cold all the time.
Tonight I put two pair of socks on Debbie and two extra blankets also I
noticed Debbie’s eyes are starting to sink in a bet. But Debbie has
been calm all day on tremor or jumping. Even to night Debbie is at the
most peace since the accident.
Tomorrow I will meet a new Hospice that will evaluate Debbie and I can
find out what to expect or what to look for until I see her on Thursday.
The nurse will be putting a urine catheter in so they can measure out
put.
This has been the longest day yet.
June 23, 2007
Jerrall-
Last night Debbie slept all night long and until 10:30 am. The only thing
different was Debbie’s stats. Oxygen was lower and her pulse was up,
and she had a breathing pattern I have never heard. I took 3 naps
today while the nurse was here. This morning the first time I woke up,
Debbie had a deep rattle, so I had to go down Debbie’s nose with a
straw catheter 3 times. It worked great and Debbie could breathe
normal again.
While the nurse watched Debbie, Krystal and I moved Debbie’s whole
bedroom into the den where the “time machine” mat sat in front of the
picture window. I am still able at this time to still get Debbie up in her
wheelchair. But when the time comes, Debbie will become too weak to
get out of bed. I can’t think of a better place to be where Debbie can
see the terrace and all of the plants blooming.
Tonight when every one was gone, Debbie and I watched a movie
before going to bed. Debbie oxygen stats have been in the 80’s all day
without extra oxygen.
June 22, 2007
Jerrall-
This morning I got Debbie up and ready for the nurse by 7 am. Debbie
was awake, but not very happy. After getting Debbie stable, I went back
to sleep 2 and ½ hours before the biggest meeting yet with the doctor,
nurse, and support staff. We got all of the meds changed and some
new ones added. The doctor looked deep into my eyes and said he did
not want me to be the nurse or doctor any more, but just Debbie’s
husband. I still talk to Debbie about old times and just hold her hand.
That is so easy to say, but the nurses still need help. Debbie has the
best nurses I have ever worked with. Tonight we started the Morphine,
and it did what they said. The Morphine made her breathe easier, have
a higher pulse, and lower oxygen stats. Blondene, one of the nurses,
was so professional and made me feel or know this was best for Debbie.
I am afraid this is the complete opposite. We have done four years and
do not know what to expect. I think it is better that Debbie is at peace
and not jumping any more. Amber was here for the meeting and both
girls gave Debbie probably her last shower. Amber is so upset today,
and she could not be around Debbie. Krystal went home about 9 pm to
study for a test. No one knows how they will react to this until it
happens. And I believe that no one has the right to judge the pain the
whole family is going through. The pain is so great; words cannot even
begin to explain. Please keep Amber and Krystal as well as Debbie in
your prayers.
Some people way not want to read any more posts, but I want to record
my day to day feelings as Debbie, and our family as well, goes on this
final journey.
June 19, 2007
Jerrall-
Today there was no happiest in our home. Even the nurses were so
quite you did not know they were there. Finally tonight I asked the
nurse this is hard enough please let us still have conversation and
make the best of this tragedy.
Hospice intake came out today and met Debbie there need for care and
will start helping today. I will still be alone with Debbie 11 pm until 7 am.
I have two choices to keep doing what I am doing with my meds and
Debbie’s oxygen stats dropping slowly and jumping all the time which
could go on for years, more UTI, pneumonia, ect. Or I could let there
doctors take over and get better meds and get control of the extra
secretions. Choice two the meds will be so strong Debbie will be
bedridden and her o2 stats will drop faster and suppress Debbie’s
respiratory vary fast and this will be over in 4 to 6 weeks. Both would be
death of natural causes just one Debbie suffers longer and I can not
take much more or be fair to Debbie. You would have to be in my shoes
to really understand the feeling of someone pulling on your shirt wanting
you to make them able to breathe. I save Debbie’s life several times a
day for over four years. All of the girls and doctors think this will be the
fairest way for Debbie to die in peace. Once the new meds start there
will be no more jumping, or pain and that will be the first time in over four
years.
To night Debbie went right off to bed and everyone is gone until
tomorrow. I wanted to make this post before I have to set up with
Debbie the rest of the night.
June 18, 2007
Jerrall-
Any one reading this post remember every brain injury is different. Just
because Debbie may be one way and some one else will be another
way. Debbie’s car seat was only 5” wide so first is the crushing of the
body and crushing Debbie’s left lung. This has turned out to be a
bigger issue than the brain injury.
Today at the lung doctors office we were told at this point we need to do
all we can to make Debbie comfortable. Debbie’s injury is in the brain
stem and the cerebellum. Also deep in the prongs and center or core of
her brain. All of Debbie’s teeth and sloping inward because of the
fractures from the accident. This means the up pallet in Debbie’s mouth
is fractured also. The main issue is through the upper pallet tear drop
secretions appear and Debbie can not breathe because of her own
secretions. It is so scary when Debbie grabs me and this I can take all
of her troubles away. I try and it normally works. But with this issue
comfort and chocking is the main issue.
With the next week the new Doctors will have taken over Debbie’s and
comfort not therapy will be the main goal. We will not take out the peg
tube but let nature take its course. Debbie will never see the mountains
again or the ocean. They tell me the meds will suppress the respiratory
system even more and at one point she will not be strong enough to
even get out of the bed. When that day comes I will move her bed to
the den so Debbie can see outside and watch TV. I do not know the
next move but we have a lot of doctors to see in the next two weeks.
Because of atrophy and a brain injury it is hard to say why this has to
happen. Debbie is losing about 1% of her oxygen level every week and
drop almost every night in the 80’s. In the last week of meeting no one
thinks Debbie will see September. I told the girls at the meeting today I
would prefer they do not see Debbie like this just remember the good
times we have had. I know being a lone at night watching Debbie die of
natural causes will be the worst time of my life. But sometimes you have
to love some one so much you have to let go no matter my feelings are.
Debbie I can promise you I will hold your hand until the end and you will
never be alone.
“Make every moment count”
“Best friends forever”
June 15, 2007
Jerrall-
Today was the first morning I fell a sleep and left the door locked and
the nurse could not get in. She had to call me on the phone to wake me
up. I can tell some thing has to give. While the nurse got meds I got
Debbie dressed and up in her chair. It was hard to tell how long she
had been awake. I am so lucky some thing did not go wrong.
After Debbie was set up with the nurse I got 3 hours of great sleep. I
wonder if I will ever get back to a normal sleep pattern.
When I got up Debbie was still so tight we could not get her shoes on
and that makes about 3 days. All day Debbie was jumping and not
happy. To night Debbie did not go to sleep until11:30 pm so may be
she will sleep later we are running out of thing to do at 4 am.
Today was a day of tears for Krystal and me. Krystal took me out to eat
dinner and told me how Debbie had told her 3 different times after her
mom was killed and she never wanted to be put on life support. Debbie
is getting weaker by the day and getting tighter as well. Today there
was a lot of talk about getting a DNR for the heart and keeping the
oxygen. Also increasing the types of meds to keep Debbie from
jumping. Heather the nurse supervisor used the word happier but I
would comfortable. This could give Debbie more time to rest but she
can not stand any more atrophy. This would just delay the end. I heard
a lot of options today but they do not really count until Monday when we
go to the lung Doctor.
I am so lost, how could all of this happen so fast. Debbie has always
been able to breathe and a strong heart to where we have not been in
this position. I will never forget my mother telling me 2 years it might be
in Debbie’s best interest not to wake up from the coma and I was
pushing Debbie to hard. I am not doctor and just want someone to step
up all tell me the next step. I have tried everything and nothing is
helping and Debbie is still declining. The days are going so slow waiting
until Monday.
I know we need a DNR and more or stronger meds to stop the jumping
but that is all I know. I also know we can not be the only one in this
situation what do other 4 year post TBI‘s do.
June 14, 2007
Jerrall-
We got Debbie right off to sleep last night but at 3:30 am Debbie was a
wake and jumping again. Debbie’s oxygen levels were great but this
time it a spasms issue and with extra meds and I got in bed with her to
stretch her out and give Debbie a great massage after an hour it was
time to get up and in her wheelchair where Debbie feels best. But at 4:
30 am all there is to do is watch a movie. This morning it was sweet
home Alabama and it was great. At the end remember where the man
on the beach says my do you want to marry me any way and she says
so I can kiss you anytime I want! What a better way to start a day. By
the end of the movie Debbie was calm and squeezing my hand I could
not ask for any more under this situation.
The nurse came at 7 am and I keep Debbie stretched out until she got
Debbie’s food and meds. Then I got to take a four hour nap and
Debbie was in great hands. Debbie had a great rest of the day. When
she does not sleep then that is when Debbie is the most cognitive. All
day Debbie smiled and had a great expression on her face. If only
Debbie’s body can last as long as her will to survive great thing are
possible and her body is my issue or job.
The rest of my day I spent with Debbie and getting ready for two
meetings tomorrow. The rest of Debbie’s day was good, she fell asleep
at 9:30 pm.
June 13, 2007
Jerrall-
Debbie went right to sleep last night about 11 pm. The nurse Comfort
helped me put Debbie to bed. Debbie is still taking 2 mg diazepam
before bed to prevent panting and keep stats up and one liter flow of
oxygen in her mouth while she sleeps. Nursing leaves at 11 pm and I
stay up and watch Debbie all night which is great. If we have 24 hour
nursing after Monday I will still stay in Debbie’s bedroom and the nurse’s
desk will be in the hall. The last thing Debbie needs to see when she
goes to sleep is me and the first thing when Debbie wakes up she
needs to see me. During the night if Debbie has an issue my club hand
seam to calm her. Still when it comes to the end I will be there but
hopefully not alone. But hopefully with a trained nurse.
Last night Debbie woke up at 3:30 am and her heart rate dropped to 57
for a minute and scared me to death. Debbie was ok just wet.
It took me 45 minutes to take her apart and back together again. Debbie’
s oxygen level stays at 100% usually with the extra one liter flow and if it
drops Debbie needs suction to clear her air way. I gave Deb extra meds
and got in bed with her and I think we both feel asleep for about and
hour. Then we got up early and were ready for nursing before 7 am. In
all it was a good night when I removed the oxygen lead and Debbie only
dropped to 94% which is ok.
I heard today old people have a circulation problem and fall asleep
often because of blood circulation to the brain, is that not interesting.
Just one more lead to follow up on.
Krystal called me tonight to make sure I was ok. Krystal told me maybe
god is using Debbie now to make a difference in other life and when it is
time he will take her home and she could even become an angle that
helps look over all of us. Krystal is 19 years old and was in the car with
Debbie and really surprised me with this view.
I just have to keep remembering God is just giving me this second
chance to have extra time to say good bye to Debbie that not just every
one get and have to make every moment count. I do not know what
else to say.
June 12, 2007
Jerrall-
Today has been one of the hardest days yet. You only get the answer
to the questions you ask. So most often there is a lot of questions you
do not think of and some you are afraid to think of since no one knows
everything. Mainly you have to follow your heart. Today my heart took
me to where I had to be but did not want to be. Knowing is always better
than guessing but the truth is too much to bear sometimes.
Debbie is getting weaker every day and is having oxygen drops almost
every day. I called yesterday if a doctor had got back some blood work
to be able to increase some oral muscle relaxers so I could get Debbie
standing again. Then later that day a stranger in the medical field made
a couple of comments that clicked in my head and made me think of
Debbie’s issues in a different way. This stranger had nothing to do with
Debbie or even knew of Debbie. I am always talking medicine with any
one who will listen. I called several of doctors in Debbie’s care group
and ask different question, different ways more than one time to a
doctor. After several hours on the phone to many same answers
started to point to the same issue.
Debbie has a respiratory issue, then a closed head injury, and last a
pelvis issue. I am so worried about getting Debbie standing again;
excessive new tone and loss of cognitive function that I did not even
think of the lungs are one big muscle. How could I have been so close
to the trees?
Tomorrow is the first meeting, then one Friday and last of all two on
Monday. For one time all of the doctors are going to know what every
one is doing and together we are going to come up with a care plan to
keep Debbie as comfortable as possible or even improve her quality of
life.
Over the 4 years I think the Baclofen and oral muscles relaxers have
weakened Debbie’s lungs to the point of the cause of the oxygen
drops. The lung doctor is the main doctor in this new look at Debbie’s
life. We have had orders for out patient evils for months and not been
able to breathe enough to keep oxygen stats up and so weak to even
hold Debbie’s head up.
I will keep all the posts up to date for the next week a computer crash
caused me to lose all of the notes for the first of June. If this is right
then will the lung doctor want all of the Baclofen stopped and Debbie
drawn up into a ball in pain to extend the time of the lungs and then
other doctors deal with the pain with meds and all therapy end and
recovery. I said I did not want to be at this point. It all comes down to
what I want for Debbie.
I will tell any one we have tried for over 4 years at recovery and at first
with luck but Debbie also had been crushed on one lube of her left lung
and you have to be able to breathe to function in other ways. I want
Debbie to be able to have some quality of life but at this point I have to
hold on to her many times a day and night because she is gasping to
breathe and at the same time I am doing respiratory work to make that
possible and it is getting worse and more often. At this point if Debbie’s
time is limited to 2 to 3 months then I want Debbie to stop therapy, stop
jumping, start breathing and be allowed to pass in peace and with some
dignity. I may lose my best friend but not my faith. I have not cried for a
long time but just the thoughts of the meeting on Monday had made me
not be able to even function the rest of the day. I will never give up and
hopefully medicine can save Debbie but as of tonight every one can see
the decline and how tired Debbie is from this 4 year fight. Right now
Debbie is too weak for any surgery and I refuse to kill her. All of this is in
GOD’S hands. The next six days Debbie need everyone possible
praying for a solution.
June 10, 2007
Jerrall-
I want to start this post a little different. Today we had a wedding
reception dinner at our house for Amber and Yusimi. Debbie was not
able to attend Amber’s wedding last weekend but this weekend Amber
wanted to include Debbie as much as possible. I was with Krystal when
the dinner started she needed some help and as a single parent and
caregiver I am only one person I try to do everything. When Krystal and
I got there the nurse gave me report and Debbie was in the den lying on
the mat in the den with an oxygen line in her mouth and a high pulse
and low oxygen level.
I set on the mat and did percussion work on Debbie’s lungs. Debbie
could tell my big club hands. It took about an hour for me to get Debbie
stable and up in her chair. Amber new this could be the issue and knew
with me there were no worries. Debbie was able to be up in her chair
until the end of the dinner. I know how important this was for Amber and
the nurse Sharon on duty. Erin a special girl that went to school with
Amber and helped me when Debbie first came home was even here.
Erin you have made such a difference in my life you will never know.
When everyone left Debbie set in the living room and watched a new
DVD. Debbie went to sleep in her wheelchair right a way and I just held
her hand. Every now and then she would squeeze my hand back. To
night I feel like the luckiest man in the world. Even with Debbie a sleep,
an oxygen line in her mouth I feel like one of the luckiest men in the
world. Every now and then I have to suction Debbie’s airway but still
thank you God for this time to be with Debbie. The over stimulation
from to day must have made Debbie so tired. Still today has been a
special day in my life. It is hard to ever know how many people ones life
can touch. I know I can keep Debbie breathing but if her heart would
stop at any time I know that would be the end of Debbie’s life. This is a
hard reality to live with every day.
A special friend was here tonight and told me I was in a hard spot
Debbie’s body after 4 plus years was just getting tired. This may be
true but I will never give up on Debbie and will keep Debbie breathing as
long as it takes. I will say it is not my hands that make this work every
day but some one lead them to this day. There is a God and this is not
his doing just some times bad things happen to good people and we
may never know why but I am thankful for this time with Debbie that no
one else could have given me.
It is 11 pm and time for me to get Debbie to bed and she is still a sleep
but it is not everyday your oldest daughter gets married. I am so
thankful for too many things to list. It is all in how you look at things.
“Best friends forever”
June 2007
Jerrall-
This site is more of a personal daily journal of Debbie’s life after a brain
injury. The injury or damage was cause by a man dropping a cell phone
and bending over to pick it up. He ran across the median and hit
Debbie head on. If in any way the information found on this site will help
any one, then Debbie’s life was not a waste.
I keep up with a lot of people on different journeys and I learn something
new every day. I also learn new things about myself. I still wonder after
4 plus years if other caregivers do not get tired any more, or hungry, or
do not have dreams when they do get that three hours of sleep. Also, I
wonder if caregivers do not get mad any more or happy any more and
cannot see past today.
I know this does not mean anything good and no one will talk about it. I
wish others would pass on the secret of how they deal with these issues
day to day. The first year went so fast and we were so busy with as
much therapy as possible. The second year all of the therapy ended
and I was told Debbie needs time. We had a great year traveling to
places we used to go, but things were different then before. The third
year therapy started again, but respiratory issues also started. I believe
it is from atrophy of the lungs drugs and the damage from a crushed left
lobe. During the start of the fourth year, therapy stopped and home
nursing started because of several trips to the hospital from low oxygen
stats. During the fourth year, Debbie has oxygen drops almost every
night and sleeps with a 1 liter flow nasal cannula all through the night.
Debbie’s cognitive function is still declining. Both girls moved out to
there own houses. I wonder what the rest of the year will be like.
“Make every moment count.”
I new when this happened I could have gone to a funeral or accept what
happened and send this time letting go slow to where this would not
take me down all so. April 4, 03 my life ended and we both got the
chance to get a second chance at life. Now I spend every day keeping
Debbie’s air way clear and from dieing of suffocation as the way her
mom did in 02. If Debbie’s heart would stop today I would have to let
her go because of the anoxic injury that would farther occur. I will never
give up on Debbie but will never cause any more injury to occur. No
one would ever want to live like this but it was a trauma and there is
nothing I would not do for Debbie even trade my life for Debbie’s. But I
would never make this trauma any worse and am lucky to have all of this
time to say good bye.
“Debbie Best Friends Always “