06may

May 31, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie has slept well through the night with no extra meds. It is 7 am and I am in my
bed next to Debbie waiting for Debbie to wake up.

Amber-
Mom had another calm day. She did very well. She gets tired after therapies for a bit,
but it is due to the higher level activities. We got to sit outside tonight while dad
grilled. It was nice to see mom look up and around. We just hung out.

May 30, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had a great nights sleep 12 am until 8:30am. This morning Amber and Krystal
are both working with Deb at the same time. The standing frame requires two people
for it to be safe. Deb appears tired this morning she is aware but not out going yet.
OT Susanne will be here at 12:30. Krystal came and woke me up and said come see
Mom. When I went into the den Deb was setting between two OTs and Deb was
pedaling with both hands instead of her feet every one was having a good time.
At 1:30 pm we went to Nero and had Baclofen pump refilled. We made a few stops on
the way home and got home at 5:30 pm. Debbie never takes a nap but tonight she did
for about 20 minutes. Tonight Deb is still tired and has her eye untapped. Deb
appears happier when her left eye is taped closed.

Amber-
When we got ready for bed mom was jumpy. When I put the antibiotic cream in her left
eye she closed her right eye and relaxed.

May 29, 2006
Jerrall-
This morning Deb got up at 7 am what the difference is, she has pulled her blankets
into the floor. Deb is on and ready to start her day. Today Debbie is like a different
person, she is not trying to talk but she can turn her head and keeps pulling at her lips
so I will put Chap Stick on them. Tomorrow Debbie has OT at lunch and then we go to
Nero and get the baclofen pump refilled. It is like the day or two before refill Debbie
becomes more cognitive like the BAC med paralyzes her when the pump is full.
Tonight Amber said mom do you want to go look for some summer shirts and Deb
nodded yes. So we went shopping and Deb picked out 4 shirts. Debbie is so calm
tonight her right leg and hand are not moving. Only her tongue has a slight tremor.
Where did this day go it is 10 pm and time to take a shower. When we have a day that
Deb is so with us I never want it to end. One day Deb will come on and stay on and
until then I will have to make the most of the time we do get to have with Debbie.

Amber-
This morning mom and I started hanging out at 7:30 am. We watched TV for a few
minutes and then practiced speech. She was calm and did well all day. We rested
and did therapies together from 7:30 am to 2 pm. She did a great sit to stand for me.

May 28, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept for 6 hours last night which is great but time goes so fast. This morning
at 6 am when Deb woke up her right leg and right hand was jerking a lot. I tried to lay
down with her but nothing would work to calm Debbie down. We got up and went into
the kitchen like every Sunday morning I turned on the radio and even gave Deb extra
meds. At 1:30 pm Deb is laying on the mat with her left eye taped closed, mouth and
air way is clean and is still rotating her right wrist. After Deb lays by her self for a ½
hour I will check her bottom. This is not some you talk about but you have to watch
and know when. Deb is on a bawl program but this is often the cause of the pain. It is
2:30 pm and Deb needs to use the bathroom hopefully this is the issue. 5 pm and
Deb is a different person so much calmer. Things we all take for granted air
temperature, setting to long, or even having to go to the bathroom.

May 27, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept well last night with no suction 2am until 9 am. Deb and I spent the day
together but I guess from last night Deb was still jumping and kicking. No matter what I
did Deb would not calm down and extra meds will take away her cognition. Amber
came in at 3 pm and said lets give mom a bath before she leaves for the weekend.
Debbie calmed down after a shower and with no extra meds. When Amber was
finished I hope she felt a since of what she had done for Debbie. Thanks Am!!

Tonight Krystal, Debbie and I went to the mall for about an hour. Debbie appeared to
enjoy getting out of the house.

May 26, 2006
Jerrall-
Big day Krystal has waited for. She is glad to have this part of her life behind her and
at the same time afraid of what life beholds for her. Since the accident I have
wondered if Deb would be able to see Krystal graduate. Well the day has come and
Debbie, Amber, and I are here in the center of the gym next to the walk way. Dennis
Rawls the man that was in the car behind Debbie and Krystal and saw the accident
happen came over and said high to Deb. Debbie did not reply I hope he feels like it
was a good thing to help Debbie. EMT said Deb was DOA but Mr Rawls said that
Debbie was belly breathing. He saved Debbie’s life holding her head and air way clear
until the car could be cut open. I was still speechless and will never be able to put
thank you enough into words. Another friend Joan came up and said hello and asked
if Debbie knew where she was. Hard question Deb knew we were some where
different but there was too many people for Debbie to relax. Every thing went well until
it was all over and all the students started to make a lot of noise yelling I plugged
Debbie’s ears but it scared her and Debbie started kicking and jumping it was all I
could do to hold Deb down. A lady came over and asked if she could help us get out
of the gym. People were shoulder to shoulder I pushed Deb’s wheelchair following as
she cleared the way. Once outside every thing was ok. I am so glad we got to be
here.

May 25, 2006
Jerrall-
Life is so surreal, just like in the movie 50 first dates where the father and brother
relived the same day over and over again to try to protect the girl with the brain injury.
Tonight I find our like is too much like the movie. Amber, Krystal, Debbie and I sat in
the living room to eat dinner and watch the movie Jumanji. When everyone finished
dinner the girls are cleaning up the kitchen. I am getting Debbie’s bed ready and
Debbie’s suction machine clean for the night. Mean while Debbie is let setting
watching the movie as several thing are having to be done to be able to go to bed. As
all of the tasks are being finished I find everyone back in the living room finishing the
movie with Deb. Today is Thursday and yesterday we were at the eye surgeon. To my
surprise he said give Deb the drops every two hours and keep Deb’s eye taped and
this can heal. In three weeks we are to go back if Deb’s eye is not better then sewing
the lid have shut will be the next step. This is the first time I have heard any one say
this can heal the human body is amazing. Deb has been with us today good thing and
bad thing. It is time to get Deb to bed I can not help wonder what will tomorrow bring.
Krystal graduates tomorrow and Deb and I are going to go every keep your fingers
crossed.

Amber-
Mom started her day with a saliva issue that seemed to never end. By 11 am her
mouth seemed to be drying up. She was calm the rest of the day. Every 2 hours put
fresh drops in her left eye and re-tapped. Until 7 ish tonight she barely jumped or
moved uncontrolled. Last night she was calm until 7 pm. She did not become wild, her
right hand just moved and rotated in a circle. Mom did sit to stand with me a few times,
she did a good job. She communicated to me several times today. She smiled also.
She moved her left thumb very well today.

May 24, 2006
Jerrall-
The highs of the good days like Sunday are as low as the hard days like today. Even
37 months of living with this kind of recovery there are no words to describe the
emotions in our house today. It was quite in the car yesterday on the way home from
the eye doctor. Today we will know if Debbie’s left eye will have to be sewn shut.
Again anyone with a TBI loved one, if there is a peg tube and swallowing is uncertain
pay close attention to how much or often they are blinking there eyes.
37 months of eye lube, E-Stem to make the eye lid open and close and tapping the
eye shut for the night, atrophy is winning with Debbie’s left eye. The hardest thing for
me to accept is there is there is nothing more I can do it is out of my hands. Today I
heard someone say Debbie’s right is also getting worse. If Debbie is blind in one eye
we can adapt. If Debbie looses both eyes in the next three years it is hard to say the
impact on recovery. One day at a time easy to say harder to live.

Amber-
Mom has been very calm throughout the day. Today mom had 2 of her therapist at
one time. Pt, sat behind her on the mat adjusting her at the hips while practicing
sitting balance. OT was in front of her asking mom to clean a mirror. Mom did well,
most of the time mom was able to maintain her own balance without help and do other
activities.

May 23, 2006
Jerrall-
Deb slept great last night 11 pm until 10 am with only 6 times clearing her throat. This
morning Deb is tight on her right side and her left side is good. Deb would not reach
out and take my hand but has good eye contact. Today we are going to see Krystal’s
old Orthodontist to see what we need to do about Deb’s teeth that are moving side
ways. Deb’s Dentist said the front teeth may be cracked at gum line from the impact.
Ortho said until Debbie is cognitive to answer questions on her own and could shallow
and did not need a peg tube any more he could not do anything with Debbie’s teeth.
Anyone with a TBI loved one, practice chewing exercises with celery or what ever.
Even with E-Stem and chewing exercise after 37mouths atrophy is affecting the
position of several teeth which I can not stop from turning in to the point it is hard foe
Debbie to chew ice and work the ice to the back of her mouth. On the way home we
stopped by the eye doctor. I wanted him to take the eye patch and tape off and see
Debbie’s eye red and puffy. He made Debbie appointment with the surgeon for 2 pm
tomorrow.

May 22, 2006
Jerrall-
Deb slept until 1 pm Monday; Sunday really took a lot out of Debbie.

May 21, 2006
Jerrall-
TODAY IS WHAT A CAREGIVER OF A TBI SURVIVOR WAITS FOR!!!

I wonder if anyone else has days like today. Debbie did not sleep at all last night
which happens from time to time. But every night when I day her down in her bed for
the night she tries to talk and is more cognitive. Nights like last night are rare, night s
you live for. Every night when Debbie is trying to communicate and is really with us we
have to give her meds to make her sleep knowing that tomorrow when she wakes she
will not remember a thing or even be able to turn her head. Everyday Debbie starts at
0. It is like an endless circle that will never end until the night she does not go to
sleep. Last night as on of those nights and the more often this happens, each time
the more cognitive she becomes.

I can not help wondering if one day Debbie will come on and stay on forever. It is just
like a light switch either you are on or off there is no middle ground.

Today was on of those days except when I talk to Debbie we both know about her left
side.

Debbie tries to whisper this could be from atrophy in the muscles. She moved her
right leg and left thumb, but when I asked her to mover her left leg she shook her head
no and whispered “I can’t”. Today is the most Debbie has ever been on since 4-4-03.
You do not wake from a coma and it is like before, that is want makes today different.
We both know and try to work on what is not working. Debbie seems to understand
that it is a good and bad thing.

This morning was like no other, Debbie started kicking and jumping in bed at 6 am.
Her oxygen level dropped and her heart rate increased to almost 100. It appeared
she clicked on and panicked, not understating what happened to her. When an issue
comes up the first thing a person thinks is to call 911, but I know nobody knows about
TBI and my gut feeling is better than someone’s idea who do not live with a TBI 24/7. I
would not trade this time with Debbie for anything and I think about how lucky I am
everyday.

Debbie is so on this morning, turning her head, control on eyes, and right hand. She
was throwing pillows in the floor, grabbing the bed rail.

7:30 am we are still in the kitchen she pulled the oxygen supply out of her mouth and
laid it on her chest. 97/82, her oxygen dropped as soon as she removed the oxygen.
Her right leg calming down, right wrist is better, and the right wrist has slight
movement. I do not know what was wrong, a mucus pug or over on, or what. A lot of
drainage, but could be caused by pain in her left eye it is swollen and red. She has
not had her drops yet. I tried ice, but she spit it in the floor. This is new and such
good control.
7:45 am 96/81 on her own, no extra oxygen. Her right leg and wrist are not moving. It
is hared for her to hold her head up. The rest of the day 97/78 like normal. She was
on all day and in the back of my mind I could not help but wonder if today is all we will
have. What will tomorrow be like when she wakes up? One day at a time and one
hour at a time. It is as hard to take what you get and not thing ahead but I am learning.

May 20, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night was the best in a long time after a shower. Debbie went to sleep at midnight
and woke up at 6 am. I rolled Debbie on her left side and got in bed with her. Debbie
went right back to sleep and we got up at 9 am. Amber came in Debbie’s bedroom at
6:30 am this morning and ask since Debbie was a wake did I want to put Debbie in her
wheelchair and she would be with Debbie for a hour before Amber left for the weekend
so I could get some sleep with out having to watch Debbie. I still can not separate my
elf from Debbie. I told Amber that would be selfish on my part because Debbie needs
sleep to. Anyway this is a good morning Debbie is moving her right hand in a circle
movement all morning but I know her eye hurts and this is the only way she can tell
me. It took 2 hours to wash her face and clean Debbie’s mouth and get dressed for
the day but it is great to get this time together. At noon when I lay Debbie down on the
mat she put her arm around like last night at the water fountain and when I put her
shoes on Debbie wrapped her right leg around me like she was an octopus. But the
fun ended at 12:30pm when I put Debbie’s eye drops in and then Debbie would not let
tape her left eye closed. I will wait ½ hour and try the tape again.

9:30-11 pm we watched the movie 50 first dates.
11-11:30 pm mom went to bed with her right leg jerking and kicking. (meds)
12 the lights are out and she is not kicking, but she is not asleep. All night every 30
minutes she needed suctioned to clear her throat. All night she never went to sleep.
2-3 am she was whispering.
6 am it is daylight and she started kicking her right leg and rotating her right writs. Her
oxygen is 96 and her pulse is 96. I rolled her over in bed and laid with her, but she is
still kicking.
6:30 am she got up in the chair. Her legs were not tight like the last 2 weeks. Her right
leg and right wrist are still moving 96/96. She is really on. Note: she will not let me
tape her left eye Saturday or Saturday night.
7 am we are in the kitchen there is a lot of saliva in her throat, the roof of her mouth,
and everywhere. I pulled it out with a tooth brush and suctioned. She is still 96/92 and
kicking. 150 cc of water, gave 1 Dantrium, 1 propranolol, ½ Klonopin, 1 extra
diazepam, and 18 cc benadryl. I put the oxygen in her mouth, her oxygen lever went
right up to 98-99 and her pulse slowly came down to the 80’s.

May 19, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night Debbie slept all night long until 8 am this morning. There was something
different going on in Debbie’s mouth. It was clear thick saliva that covered the roof of
her mouth and would run down into Debbie’s throat. I fill a 1300 cc suction canister all
though the night. Sometimes the amount of saliva was so heavy I used a tooth brush
to keep up with the drainage. 6 am this morning I rolled Debbie on her left side and
got in bed with her. Debbie did not wake up put her legs over mine. This position
always works well with the drainage. 8 am I got Debbie up in her chair to start the
day. Amber took Debbie and I laid back down until 11am.
Tonight Debbie, Amber, and I went to the mall food court 2 miles away. Debbie was
quite and calm and appeared to enjoy being out. We were there a couple of hours and
when we went out side to look at the water fountain I kneeled down beside Debbie’s
chair put my arm a round Debbie’s neck and started to talk to Debbie. Before I
finished getting my arm up Debbie push my hand away and put her right arm around
my back and neck. When Debbie gets to do some thing she wants to do I always have
a great felling on my inside and reminds me how lucky we are.
Today was the first day to have Debbie’s eye taped all day long and it went well.
Debbie did not try to take it off so open it must have been causing a lot of pain.
Tonight meds and re-tape even at bed time.

Amber-
Today I noticed that mom was calmer when her left eye was tapped. If it came
untapped her right eye seemed to be having trouble. She did well with the OT in
taking her shirt off and on. They practiced sitting balance and she did well until she
began to throw herself to the right. She did reach out 2 times to put her right hand on
the hand rail. 2 times today I saw mom perfectly still. Tonight dad, mom, and I went to
south park mall. We sat outside at the water fountain. Mom put her arm around dad.
It was the sweetest thing.

May 18, 2006
Jerrall-
No one knows what there body can do until they actually go through something like
this. Debbie, Amber, Krystal or myself, everyone has there own way of dealing with
the grieving process. It took me 30 months to run out of tears and to be able to talk
about our loss. Now I try everyday to look ahead and not look in the past. Debbie has
one of the best Physiatrist (coma, rehab) in the country. I hope she knows how great
a difference she makes in so many people’s life. Doctor Hammond when I felt like we
were at the end of Debbie’s recovery you have always been there to show me the next
step to take. Well after our meeting last Friday today Debbie and I are going to the
eye Doctor to see if Debbie’s left eye is going to have to be sewn shut. This is one of
those many choices that no one would every think they will have to make.
Thank you Amber for giving me the opportunity to catch up on my sleep the last three
days. Last night I changed Debbie’s depends at 2 am like every night and did not wake
Debbie up. At 3 am Debbie was breathing like she was in a deep sleep. At 4 am I did
not hear Debbie breathing at all and when I turned the flashlight on Debbie hit me 3
times in the head, once in my lip and grabbed my left ear with her right hand and
twisted it before I could get out of her reach. Debbie has never been like this before
she is definitely much more cognitive but this left eye is causing a lot of confusion. I
untapped her left eye, rolled her over on her left side and got in bed with her. At this
point all I can do is let Debbie know she is not alone. I still can not think what it would
be to wake up and just be blind in one eye and not understand what had happened.
Well after 5 hours we are back home. There are still good people in the health field I
find refreshing. The eye doctor said Debbie left eye had blood vessels growing up
from the bottom and was like an open sore causing Debbie constant pain. I asked if it
was time to sew it closed and he responded that would be like giving up on the nerves
in the eye lid to heal. He wants Debbie to use a special eye drop and for us to keep it
tape shut for three weeks, even during the day. Then come back 6/8/06 and
revaluate the next step. It is hard to keep the left eye taped in Debbie’s sleep so with
time during the day will get easier. Debbie’s right eye does not blink enough so the
blood vessels are growing down from the top. With out glasses Debbie can not see
more than 10”.

May 17, 2006
Amber-
Mom and I had a pretty good day, even with a few saliva issues. When Bryan the PT
cam in to say hello, mom pointed at him. She wanted him to reach out to shake
hands. She then reached out to him first and shook his hand. She was wild a bit,
ready to do something. She wanted to do so much so fast. She stood well with him a
few times. She was very eager to try and you could tell. She was mouthing lots of
words to him, I was not sure what she was saying. Her last stand he asked her to hold
onto the table. This is the first time ever he said that she kept her hand on the table
while standing. This is good cause she used to if she kept her hand down would pull
down. He wants he to learn to push up to support herself. We did not have speech,
mom was not feeling well and had her left eye taped shut. She was trying to keep her
right eye closed and after I taped her left eye she relaxed as if she was working so
hard to keep the left eye closed that she was wore out.

May 16, 2006
Amber-
Mom woke up at 8:30 today. She was moving around a little. She was not tired today
until 8 pm. Her eyes seem to be blood shot like she has an eye infection in both eyes.
I found this morning that she was more comfortable with her left eye taped shut. We
only tape her eye during the night when she is asleep. If she wakes up and has the
tape on she will take it off. She shook her head yes that having the tape on helped. I
think it is like when you have allergies or an eye infection and your eyes run you want
to close your eyes to. She can not hold her left eye shut on her own. While the tape
was on I did flashcards with her. She did them like normal, even with one eye. She
kept this tape on until 1:45 pm when OT came. Krystal said Susanne just pulled up
and mom started to take her tape off. Mom worked on shorting clothes with her. Mom
would reach her arm out but she did not want to put the item in the other basket. Later
on mom was on the mat and I gave her a kiss, she smiled. We started talking, I would
ask her something and she looked at me like she knew right what I was talking about. I
told her she was beautiful and she smiled. Mom did have lots of saliva issues today,
but they did not last long. She had 5 great big coughs.

May 15, 2006
Amber-
Ok let me tell you about today. Mom woke up calm and a bit tired. Once she got up
into her chair she was awake and had her eyes wide open. She gave me extra help
with the transfer to the mat at 11 am. Then, she rolled onto her back all by herself
when she was on her left side. She turned over fast yet with good control. When
Bryan the PT, came today she was a bit over relaxed. This did not effect her session
though, one of the best. Bryan began by asking her what she wanted to work on. He
gave her 3 choices she started to shrug her shoulders as a response. He said ok you
want me to choose. They started with sitting balance. He said “I really felt you push in
that transfer good job.” He sat her on the very edge of the mat and her feet on the
floor. He let go and mom stayed up straight perfect. He said a bit loud and excited
“you are perched there perfectly”. His eyes grew big. He was in shock. He said “you
have this licked lets do sit to stand.” After that he wanted her to sit and hold onto a
hand rail. He has never practiced this with mom. He held her right arm to guide it to
the railing. She let him go right to the bar. He said “wow you just let me place your
arm without fighting me a bit, great job Debbie.” He contained to tell her how good she
was doing. She was holding on for over 2 minutes and adjusting her hand correctly.
When she removed her hand he asked her to put it back and she did without him
having to guide her. He began to CLAP and loudly cheered. I would have loved to
video tapped this moment. Mom became tired working this hard but continued to try
and keep her head up. She lifted it slowly each time it fell from being worn out. To the
main goal now. Bryan plans not really to teach mom but hopes we will see mom want
to help this way in transfers. When she starts showing us by reaching her hand out we
will then start to have her put her right arm on the opposite arm rest to help pull herself
into her chair. The rest of the day was calm, she did have 3 saliva issues. Krsytal for
the first time I have seen with my own eyes, suctioned mom. I know she has done this
when I am not home, but today she did it 4 times in a row while I was cooking. Usually
she calls for me to come and do it. Wow she just went ahead and said mom cough,
mom just relax, ok mom open your mouth, good job, or swallow mom. She did great,
she was not scared or rushed. I almost cried, you know how it feels when someone
does not need you in the same way anymore how you get a bit sensitive. I got to wrap
my arms around mom today 3 times it felt great.

May 14, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night was different; Debbie slept 5 hours and needed suction often. Debbie’s
muscles were so tight I could not put her braces on all night. This morning when I got
in bed with Debbie to let gravity stretch her legs it did not work. So we got up jumping
and jerking. We went into the kitchen like every Sunday and Debbie started another
saliva issue and she could not even hold her head up. Krystal gave Debbie a card
and a present for mother’s day. Debbie was feeling so bad it was hard for Debbie to
focus. Krystal spent some quality time with her mom anyway. I spent until 2:30 pm
trying to get her feeling better. I laid her down on her left side and tried to drain the
extra saliva, tried meds, and nothing would work. For no reason just like the saliva
issue came, it went a way at 2:30 pm. The cloudy look in Debbie’s left eye may be the
problem with the saliva issue. In two weeks we see the doctor, a sad choice may be a
good thing for Debbie’s quality of life. I still hope there is some other way besides
sewing Debbie’s left shut. I still would not trade this time Debbie and I have together.
Debbie’s right hand has been jerking all day. Tonight at 7 pm Debbie started kicking
her right foot in her wheelchair so I put her on the potty chair with no luck. Now she is
lying on the black mat with her right leg in the air. Debbie has not went to the
bathroom all day.

May 13, 2006
Jerrall-
I am so glad yesterday is behind us. Debbie could not have a better rehab Doctor. But
the last 2 times Debbie has went for her check up Debbie has come home and pasted
out. I do not know if it what she sees or what she hears or Debbie can tell that I am so
nervous. Anyway it is Saturday morning and Debbie is still asleep at noon and last
night Debbie went right to sleep at 11pm. I always thought when you are asleep your
body is healing.
Yesterday everything went great at the rehab doctor’s appointment. One question I
did not get an answered is if I decrease meds is it fair to Debbie. Debbie can be in a
drug induced coma if the klonopin level is too high. At the same time if it is to low
excessive tremors on right side occur. Dr. Hammond said med levels is my choice but
to quick of a change Debbie could start having seizures. What I think we will do for
right now is no more Ellaville at night and only ¾ of a klonopin at bedtime for now.
Another thing we talked about was taping Debbie’s left eye lid closed when she is a
sleep and how the blood vessels are growing over the pupil. Dr Hammond said with
her patients that can talk and have this issue they say it is better to have the eye lids
sewn together than the irritation it causes to have the vision obscured or the pain from
the dryness. When Debbie was just coming out of a coma we said it was OK if Debbie
loses her left eye but 3 years later I can not imagine every morning Debbie wondering
what happened to her and on top of that be blind in her left eye. In 2 weeks we go to
the eye Doctor and a decision will have to be made. Dr Hammond said wait until next
visit to decide about outpatient therapy. In 2-3 weeks developmental disabilities will be
doing a Nero psyc exam and we need to see what they recommend for long term care
at home. Last night Krystal and I took Debbie to the mall for about an hour. You could
tell Debbie enjoyed being out.
Debbie finally woke up at 12:30 pm and every muscle was extra tight. Before we got
Debbie out of bed we did a 30 minute stretch, Krystal took the legs and I did every
thing else. This helped but some thing is not right. We went into the living room and
watched a movie trying to get Debbie to think about some thing other than being in
that wheelchair. It worked except for Debbie’s head pulling to the right. Amber was
here this afternoon and all three of us worked with Debbie on her new stationary bike.
We got it yesterday and have a few bugs to work out. Some one has to hold the back
of the chair because Debbie is strong enough to push her wheelchair over or at least
on her back wheels. We worked on the mat for a while but Debbie is still tight. It was
not until 5 pm before she would give me a smile. We came out on the screen porch at
5:30 pm Debbie was starting to become jerky on the right side. I pull a wicker foot
stool up for my feet and Debbie took her right foot and put it on the stool instead of on
the foot rest on her wheelchair. After about 30 minutes Debbie is perfectly calm
except for her jaw and tongue tremor. Tears have been running down her face from
her right eye which is her good eye. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do
and there is no way to ever prepare for it. If only Debbie could talk or communicate.
Debbie never takes a nap but she has fallen a sleep in her wheelchair out on the
screen porch. It is almost sun down and all of the birds are singing. I remember 2
years ago setting on the deck and Debbie trying to whistle like the birds.
What I thought was a sleep was really Debbie’s eyes closed and her drowning in her
own saliva. If some one else stayed with Debbie who knows what would happen.
When Debbie is calm I always check why. Some times it is nothing and some times her
pants are wet or worst of all Debbie’s air way blocked. I took Debbie in and got her
mouth cleaned and the pulse/ox on her. It was 97/72 which is good no need for
oxygen. Krystal kept wiping Debbie face with a cool wash cloth while I keep a tooth
brush and the suction pump working. At 8:30 pm Debbie just passed out in her
wheelchair. At 9:30 pm I took Debbie to bed with the ability to raise and lower the head
and foot I know I can work with Debbie. Krystal gave Debbie her bed time meds and
food while I worked with feet and hands. When Krystal goes to college this fall things
will be so different. By 10:30 pm Debbie was over the saliva issue and eye open. It
was 12:30 pm before Debbie went to sleep.

May 12, 2005
Amber-
Mom was calm today. She is continuing to push with her left leg. I believe it is coming
online now. We received to peddles to a bike thing today. She was able to allow her
right leg to go out and in, relaxing when she needed. The therapist thought she would
not be able to turn her pulling muscles off long enough to use this. Well I guess she
can, cause she did great.

May 11, 2006
Jerrall-
I wonder want is happening inside of Debbie’s head. It seems like every 4 or 5 days
Debbie is staying up all night and at the same time is more cognitive. Last night
Amber got to see what is was like to see Debbie wild, trying to talk and not sleeping at
all. Usually this happens when no one else is here. I lay down in my bed next to
Debbie after we got all of her braces on. Normally Debbie would go to sleep but not
tonight. I went to sleep but Amber kept waking me up suctioning Debbie or trying to
talk with her. Around 2 am I told Amber that we will take off all of Debbie braces and I
would get in Debbie’s bed. This way Amber can get her sleep and I will get more sleep
without Amber waking me up every 15 minutes. I had to hold onto Debbie all night and
she never went to sleep. This morning was like any other morning you could not tell
Debbie was up all night. My face was a different story does hit in the head with a 2x4
or did you get the number of that truck that hit me. Amber never heard of these
expressions. Tonight it is time to go take a shower and Debbie is calm only her mouth
and tongue moving. Tomorrow is one of the most important days of Debbie’s
recovery. Every six months we see Dr. Hammond Debbie’s physicist (coma rehab
doctor). PT wants me to ask about out patient therapy.

Amber-
Three different times today, mom pushed her left leg. She was laying on the mat and
pushed 5 times 5 inches with her left leg. This is great. She has done this for 3 days
now. With the therapist she practiced leaning on a ball when sitting on the mat. She
had to keep her body weight up by pushing her arms straight on the ball. She kept
her head up high. Although mom did not sleep last night she did not get tired until
after 6 pm. Overall her and I had a good day. Last night on the other hand was wild.
At 2 am she was grabbing me like she was scared. Her eyes were so clear. By 3 am
dad got into bed with her. She used the bathroom 2 times very close in time. I am not
sure why this happened other than she was so worked up.

May 10, 2006
Jerrall-
Like in all of 2004 & 2005 maybe some information should not be public. I have always
wanted to keep a record of Debbie’s recovery. The neurologist we saw yesterday was
a referral from Robin the speech therapist and was to confirm that Debbie was not
having any seizures. When we meet him the first time I could tell he had an attitude of
what is the use. We came back and did an EEG and the technician was great. On the
test for 15 minutes Debbie had a saliva issue and also her tongue was moving faster
than her heart rate. The technician wanted to do another test with Debbie on different
meds. That never happened. Then when we met to go over the EEG test the
neurologist said no seizure activity and Debbie did not need to be on Depakote. His
was short with all the information and I could see then he would be no help to Debbie’s
issues. We were told to come back in 4 mouths for a follow up visit. Anytime we have
been involved with a regular doctor they do not understand. Our visit yesterday was
unbelievable.
This doctor did not even talk to Debbie and was unwilling to answer any questions
except replying with double talk. Then he said Mr. Rich have you ever thought of
putting Debbie in a nursing home. He talked more about my needs and did not
address any of Debbie’s needs. The doctor is not alone probably 90% of people I see
day to day think the same way.

Amber-
It was good to see mom practice her sitting balance so well this morning. She was on
the edge of the mat without a block. This is how Bryan wants her to get strong at. She
held her balance for over 10 minutes. She even put her right arm down for 1 minute.

May 9, 2006
Amber-
At our Nero appointment today mom had congestion in her chest. We were in the
waiting room and dad got a small med cup of water to give to mom. As he put it to her
lips she closed her lips on the cup and held her hand on his. She took a sip of water
and swallowed. We have not seen her do this in over a year. When we pulled into the
driveway at home I walked up to mom from the front of the car and waved at her. She
waved back. She looked so cute. Later on today mom and I did several activities, she
did a great job. She whispered the flashcard whale loud again for the second time.

May 8, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept last night but had several issues. Even with extra suctioning Debbie did
not wake up. Debbie slept in until 9:30 am. Brian came for a PT session at 11 am.
Debbie and Brian worked on sit to stand from the wheelchair. Debbie did a good job
but really became tired fast. When Brian left Amber transferred from the chair to the
mat and let Debbie lay down and rest awhile. I got Debbie’s old Chi machine out and
gave Debbie’s legs a 15 minute work out. When Debbie gets up from her rest I want to
try the big key keyboard for the computer and see what happens. Debbie did not
seem interested in the keyboard. 2 1/2 years ago Debbie would pull down magnetic
letters and spell dog or cat. This is what I want to ask Nero tomorrow about what
happened.
Susanne OT came at 3 pm and asked Debbie what she wanted to work on. To the
best of our knowledge Debbie wanted to sort cloths. Debbie would put socks in one
basket and wash cloths in another basket. It was slow and extra hard for Debbie to
think how to move her hand but also at the same time to think about which basket to
use. Susanne and I started talking about Debbie’s doctor appointments this week and
Debbie noticed she was not the center of attention so Debbie started to do the sorting
faster it was interesting to watch. I was asking if I was crazy to ask for outpatient
therapy instead of home health. Susanne said it would not hurt to try. OT hopes it
would help with commutation, PT hopes getting stronger in right leg and in standing
balance. Speech has not said anything. In 6 mouths all speech has worked on is
things Debbie can not do it is not a win, win issue. I am thankful for the last 6 mouths
therapy Debbie has made some good improvements. But also gave me a different
way to look at things.
Today while working on the overview for Amber I saw where in May 2005 every one
gave up on Debbie in the same mouth. OT that was working privately with Debbie, Dr
Lij from China that had done Acupuncture for over a year, outpatient Speech and
family friend that helped with Debbie. I will never give up when things plateau, you just
need to do new things.

Amber-
Today with the PT, mom put her hand out onto the table quickly when he asked. They
practiced sit to stand several times, I think mom got tired. When her and I did the sit to
stand transfer to the mat when they were done, she did great. Although I agree that
mom has changed a bit since she was sick a few weeks ago, she is making new
grounds. I see does get tired much faster, but she is doing higher level things in our
practice time. We can do a 10 minute session before she gets tired. In that 10 minute
session she is doing bigger things than before so I see how she could get tired. When
we first started this journey the doctors said one day she will come on and stay on.
They also said she will become tired faster as she starts to do higher level tasks. We
are experiencing both. So all in all mom has come so far and she is doing better than
any doctor planed 3 years ago. At 7 pm mom did a short speech session with me.
She mouthed the word whale and had a loud whisper with it. It was as if she was
yelling in a whisper. It was the loudest whisper I have ever heard her do. Even louder
than when she says what, and that is loud and clear. She continued to mouth all the
cards. She put the ball in the cup 2 times and then she put it down. During the
shower tonight mom took the wash cloth out of my hand. She held onto it. I gave her
the sprayer and she held it in the correct direction. I put it over her head and to the
side and lifted her right arm up. She then held onto it and turned her wrist side to side
to rinse the very back of her hair. My hand was on her hand, but she did all the work.
I have seen her do this about 4 times, but it has been a long time. Nice to see her
open up.

May 7, 2006
Jerrall-
Last night was a long night but it is great to spend time with Debbie when she is so on.
Another thing that was different is Debbie is on, but not jumping. This morning we
stayed in the kitchen listening to the radio like every Sunday morning. But this
morning Debbie is alert turning her head looking everywhere. Debbie is still calm
today with no saliva issue.
This week ahead is full of doctor appointments. Tuesday Nero, six mouth check up with
rehab doctor Friday. I hope they can address the saliva issue and out patient
therapy. Also I hope to find out about Debbie’s teeth, left eye, left side placid and
Debbie’s sleep cycle. Cat scan or PET scan.
Tonight I do not know what to write because I have so many emotions. Debbie has
been so on with out the jerking. You can tell she knows things are different but also
you can tell she is having to relearn how to think. If you did not know Debbie you
would say she is locked in. It is 8:30 pm and Debbie is getting tired and starting to
stiffen all of her muscles. Debbie’s right arm and leg is starting to jerk. It is time for
night time meds some adjustment may be needed. Krystal will be off to college before
to long. This morning I fixed Krystal breakfast like usual on Sunday but today was
different I set in the middle of the kitchen with Debbie and Krystal pull her chair up to
us to eat breakfast. It is hard to explain but the three of us made a memory that will
last a life time. It must be so hard leaving the nest and not having a mom to talk to. I
asked Krystal after 11 months does this house feel like home and when Krystal said no
I did not know how what to say. There were a lot of people affected by this accident
than any one would ever believe. To night when I lay Debbie on the mat to check her
depends she took her right foot and put it off to the side into her wheelchair. Flexing
her calf muscles Debbie almost pulled herself into the floor. This is a first.

May 6, 2006
Jerrall
Last night was a good night for Debbie once she went to sleep before that is was
scary to see Debbie not be able to breath. This mooning we started our day by rolling
Debbie on her left side and draining all of the excessive saliva. This took an hour but
was well worth it for Debbie to have a good morning. We stayed in the den this
morning both girls were going to Proms tonight.   Today was a vary busy day for every
one. Debbie had an off and on day with the saliva issues. I took a nap3 pm -4 pm so I
will be ready for tonight. Here lately it is getting harder to sleep because of the
dreams. When I got up I took Debbie out side on the patio and grilled some beef ribs
and Debbie listened to the I-Pod. Debbie is extra calm tonight Debbie watched a DVD
What Women Want with Mel Gibson. We worked a little on the mat the night went so
fast. Krystal got home at 11:30 pm and helped me get Debbie to bed. By 12:30 am
Debbie should be a sleep but she is not. I did not give Debbie any extra meds I
though we would just wait it out. Debbie is extra on raising her head off her pillow,
pulling her covers off just any thing to let me know she is there. Debbie finally went to
sleep at 4 am. Long day!

May 5, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie has fought me all morning she must be sick or some thing when you can not
talk it is a guess issue. When I got Debbie out of bed and into her wheelchair Debbie
would lock her right leg on to the wheelchair and then pull her self down 3 “. Once we
got around thing because I was making Debbie set up in her wheelchair she mad and
keep kicking the foot rest with her right foot. That is new Debbie showing a mad or
any kind of emotion. I am no doctor but is seems Debbie realizes thing are different
and when Debbie can control her muscle it aggregates her which increases her tone
and just makes everything worst. Any way Debbie got to eat, a good face treatment
and ½ of her mouth done. It is 12:30 pm and I want to hold Debbie as tight as I can we
will lie on the black mat and look out the window. Maybe just needs to feel safe or
secure.
1:30 pm Debbie just finished lunch and meds and we are still in the kitchen. I stood up
gave Debbie a hug and a kiss on her for head and said I need to get the table cleaned
up OT will be here at 3pm. Debbie looked at me not above and lipped several words.
Debbie knows she can not talk at this time of her recovery but she does not quite
trying.
It has taken until 5 pm for Debbie to be able to hold her right hand still. Tonight
Debbie is calm we worked on the mat and watched a little TV. During the shower
tonight Debbie started an extra large saliva issue. Even in bed Debbie was producing
more saliva than we could suction. Debbie had already eaten so we could not roll her
on her side to drain the saliva. It just took time a tooth brush and a lot of suction.
Debbie did well though the night.

May 4, 2005
Amber-
This morning when I got mom out of bed I used the sit to stand method. She did the
best standing I have ever felt. She had her arm around me tight and her right leg felt
solid. I could tell she was really helping. On the mat at 10:30 am she put her arm
around me without me asking her to when we were starting to get ready for the sit to
stand. We practiced her sitting balance on the mat, she had some movement in her
right arm. Even with this movement she was able to put her hand down 2 times and
keep it there. Usually when she has this much movement the therapist can not get her
to keep her hand down. It was just her and I and she did great with hand placement.
At 11:20 am she was laying on the mat and helped with her left arm stretches. I pull
her arm over her head and she pulled it down. At 6 pm mom and I did sit to stand to
get from her chair to the mat. Once she was up in the standing position I asked her to
hold herself up. I kept my hands around her waist but let go so she had to hold her
weight. She held herself up for 5 seconds strong. When she got to the mat I asked
her if she wanted to do this again, she shook her head yes. We stood once more and
she held her weight another 5 seconds.
Later after mom rested we stretched her legs. She is getting very strong with her right
leg, she almost pushes me off the mat. I had her left leg in a stretch and asked her to
push me. She did 4 times 3 inches in length. This is the first time in a year she had
been able to push that hard with her left leg.

May 3, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had a good night went to bed at 11:30 pm and went a sleep at 1:15. Only had
to do suction two times and Debbie woke at 8:30 am. Brian PT came at 11:45 am
today Debbie and I were stretching on the black mat. Even for Brian when he finished
a stretch Debbie would pull back tight. Brian worked on sit to stand from Debbie’s
wheelchair and he said Debbie did a great job. I could tell it took a lot out of Debbie.
Debbie lay on the mat and rested while I got her lunch together. Then I got Debbie up
and we ate in the kitchen. After about 10 minutes Debbie’s left eye turned red like all
of the blood vessels had burst. Next the thick clear saliva ran down her front tooth and
the race was on could I suction fast enough or will Debbie have to lay down on her
side and be drained. Robin came right in the middle of all this I wish the two of us did
not disagree so much. Robin worked with the muscles around Debbie’s mouth but
Debbie was not feeling go so Robin said it was time to quit. Robin sat at the kitchen
table and we talked for a while Robin said she would be on vacation next week and
with Debbie seeing coma doctor next week and resert being do we may not see Robin
again. Debbie understood more than any one thinks Debbie reached out and
grabbed robins hand and knew she could not talk but gave Robin two different kind of
smiles. I could tell Robin was touched as she pulled the door shut. Robin left and I lay
Debbie down on the mat on her left side. It took 10 minutes but we got Debbie’s air
way clear with the suction pump. Debbie never sleeps during the day but today I
taped Debbie’s left eye closed and put a dry wash cloth on her eyes and she went to
sleep on the black mat. There is no cough like being sick it is more of a Nero thing. It
is too real I keep looking at her to see if she is breathing. I have seen Debbie’s mouth
fill with saliva and no one evens noticed. After an hour Debbie was able to get up.
Then as time passes Debbie is starting to draw up. It is 8:30 pm and I am going to
give ½ mg klopin and 2 mg disapam. When I went to get Debbie up she potted in her
pants so when I changed her I checked her bottom and found what is wrong. At least
this is some thing I know how to fix not like water on the brain. Debbie will need to set
up for 1 hour and things will be better.
I have been working on a three year overview of Debbie’s injury for Amber for Debbie’s
web page and standing back looking in I see the first time Debbie coned me into
sleeping with her. How at first Debbie’s left side arm and leg and foot would quiver for
an hour when we would lay down. Over time I have seen Debbie’s left side become
placid. To night when I rolled Debbie over to get her pants back on it is apparent just
how paralyzed Debbie’s left side is. If Debbie’s arm or shoulder drops off the wedge
you have to put both of your arms around her just to get her back on the pillow before
rolling over. I do not want Debbie to see my emotions I want to think of a way that is
safe for transfer so some one does not pull Debbie’s arm out of socket.

May 2, 2005
Amber-
Today mom was calm. She did the flashcards great. She mouthed the side of the
card with the pictures of the word for the first time, that I have seen. She held the
tongue depressor 5 times 10 seconds at a time.   Later on in the day around 3 pm
mom was laying on her side on the mat. I took her glasses off and put them in front of
her on the mat. She later picked them up and put them on herself. I helped her only a
little, holding the left side so she did not pock herself in the eye with the left ear piece.

May 1, 2006
Jerrrall-
What a day with no extra meds Debbie is still asleep at 12 noon and PT Brian is due
any minute. I have Debbie dressed, shoes on, and in her wheelchair. But Debbie has
her eyes closed right hand slight tremor. Debbie has excessive thick clear salvia
pouring out of her upper left lip (duct) and the upper left pallet of Debbie’s mouth. So
far I have been able to use a tooth brush and suction to keep air way clear. Debbie’s
oxygen level is 96 with a pulse of 74.
Debbie did not sleep at all Saturday night and last night she went to sleep at 1:30 am.
Last night I asked Debbie if she was ready to take a shower and Debbie pointed at the
TV and then gave me the hitchhikers thumb. This is new 2 part sign language.
Needless to say we waited until the TV show was off to take a shower.
Brian got here noon and said Debbie will you work with me today, and Debbie did not
respond. I push Debbie in her wheelchair to the black mat and Brian did the rest.
Brian told Debbie what they were going to do and then did a transfer to the black mat.
It is so hard for me to watch and not help. Until Brian came I always transferred
Debbie for the therapist. Brian and I also talked about a nurophyic eval. Mrs. Bell
called today and said Debbie needs one to get a case manger.
Today I asked Brain about out patient therapy if Dr. Hammond ask next week. Brian
says it would be good for Debbie and they would have more equipment. So I ask what I
would tell the therapist when they ask me where we are with PT. Brian said they would
need to continue to work on sitting balance until Debbie under stands if she move one
way what the out come would be. Every time Debbie works on balance hopefully it is
making an imprint in her memory. Debbie needs to work a lot on sit to stand until she
understands when to turn hamstring or quad muscle in her right leg. As of now Debbie
is not moving her left leg at all. Brain though it was realistic for Debbie to do 30 % of
transfer and then may be 50% of transfer. It sounded to me until Debbie can do more
with transfer there is not a next step. And as far as ever walking Debbie is going to
need some use of the left leg and not have the bouncing tremor in the right leg.
Debbie still needs to do the standing frame as much as possible to keep bones strong
but this exercise has nothing to do with walking. No one knows if Debbie will ever walk
again and that is ok we will work with what we have and make the most of it.
Robin (speech) came at 3:00 pm and Debbie and I had just got on the black mat. It
took me about 10 minutes to get all of Debbie’s clothes changed; we had an accident
right as Robin was pulling in driveway. Robin worked with the muscles around Debbie’
s mouth. Also lip exercises. Robin could tell Debbie was tired so they did not do any
flash cards. I asked Robin about a nanophysics evil and she said she though this
would be impossible since Debbie can not signal yes or no. Robin said what do I want
for this agency. My answer is Dr. Hammond said Debbie needed a case manager and
I want to know I am not depriving Debbie of any thing. I am just a husband what do I
know about a brain injury.