March 31, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie woke up at 11 am this morning.  Debbie slept through the night even with me
doing suction, raising and lowering the bed, and even when I changed her panties.  
Debbie’s oxygen level dropped several times during the night.  I have learned when
this is an issue to put the nose piece in Debbie’s mouth because Debbie’s nose is
stopped up.  This morning the suction canister is only half full and clear, so thing have
to be getting better.  I changed beds with Amber at 6:30 am this morning.  The past
few days I have my days and nights turned around.  Last night I was so a wake at 3 am
I ate my dinner.  Debbie can not cough like a regular person and some one has to be
there to keep Debbie’s air way clear. Robin (speech), told me a few days ago Debbie
was better off at home with me than in the hospital.  Robin said no one could spend as
much time with her as I do, not even in the emergency room and no one knows Debbie
like I do.  This made me think twice about the way the hospital thinks.  So until Debbie
gets well I will try not to complain and sleep when ever I can for as long as I can.
5:30 pm Debbie is setting up in her chair with the lights off everything is quite.  Debbie’
s right eye is almost closed and her left eye is open. Debbie can not close her left eye
unless we tape it shut.  Debbie is calmer than when she is not sick except for the
tremor in her tongue.  There is no tremor in her right hand at all.  There are no
guaranties, but everyone I know says tremors go away with time (years).  Debbie never
takes a nap but since she has been sick Debbie rests often.  
4 more days and it will be 3 years since Debbie’s second chance at life.  I guess this is
what has me down.  I remember that day like it was yesterday and Debbie has come so
far.  When I saw Debbie for the first time this evening I said I love you so much.  She
replied with a big smile with the right side of her mouth.  Who ever may be in your life,
talk to them often because no one knows when your last chance could be.  There are
so many things I talk to Debbie about now that I wish I had said before.  Now it is just
not the same.  One day at a time and they are going so fast.
Debbie gave me a coffee cup years ago it said:
                                 PRIORITIES
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of
house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…but the world may be different because I
was important in the life of a child.”
Krystal gave me a coffee cup 2 years ago it said:
                                   CHANGE
“Change is life giving. It helps grow into someone greater than we already are.”

Amber-
Dad and I traded places this morning.  Mom has lots of dry coughs, so I was not able to
help with suctioning.  Instead I was there to comfort her.  I got her out of bed even
though she was still asleep.  In the chair her cough seems to be better than when she
is laying down.  She stayed asleep while she continued to have a dry cough in the
chair.  The oxygen alarm kept going off.  This means her oxygen level went below 92.  I
had to put the oxygen on her.  At 11 am mom woke up calm and took the oxygen off of
herself.  She closed her mouth and put her finger on her lips.  I wondered if she was
feeling her lips because she does not usually have her mouth closed.  She held her
mouth shut for about 2 full minutes.  It was interesting to see her mouth now open.  Her
eyes were as clear as a bell.  She looked right at me, keep great eye contact.  She
was not communicating with me, but I could tell she was worn out.  She seemed to be
curious about what we might do.  Her oxygen was 94.  She is usually at 98, 99.  I can
not believe she has to go through all of this.  I have seen her go through a lot in 3
years, but this is something else.  I guess each time she experiences a new difficult
obstacle it will seem like the worst thing she has had to over come.  There was a time
the doctor did not know if she would live 5 more minutes.  That is the worst she has
experienced.  The only thing about that time, is she was not awake to experience it
herself.  This cold scares her for sure and she is wide awake.
I do not like to call dad and I switching places shifts.  If you were to call it shifts, dad
has the hardest shift.  He does the nights as well as different day times.  It is in the
night when mom’s body is worn out from the day.  Even if mom does not do therapy in
the day time she is exhausted from daily activities like holding her head up, breathing
strong, coughing, smiling, and looking around.  These activities will take time for mom
to gain endurance on.  She is starting to do many everyday things well; she just needs
time to recoup.  We were told in the beginning, when she started to come out of the
coma, that for her to blink her eye it is like us trying to run 3 miles.  It is common to
need rest after small or big activities.  As she gets stronger she will do higher level
cognitive things, require more rest.  We see this as she begins to learn; sit to stand,
how to fold a towel, how to wipe the table, communicate on her most on days, and do
sitting balance work for a straight hour.  The more she learns to do the higher the
therapist will raise the type of therapy they have her do.  Back to the topic, dad having
a hard shift.  In the night, mom tends to breathe as if she ran a mile that day.  She has
a wonderful breathing pattern that is like music to our ears.  During this pattern you
can feel safe that she is sleeping without danger.  When she does not have this
pattern she will forget to breath, choke, jump, or never fall asleep.  When she is too
relaxed or tired she has trouble finding a lot of strength to cough up all that is
bothering her.  Dad has to be her strength through out the night.  He is up and down
suctioning, changing her if she potties, keeping her out of pain, waking up with her if
she never goes to sleep or want to get up at 3 am to start her day, or watching her
oxygen level.  Now we have a machine that has an alarm to alert him if her level drops
to low.  This can help him feel more comfortable with a monitor.
Tonight I realized that mom uses her fake cough sometimes to get our attention at
night.  She does this during the day.  Sometimes I finish that day’s work in my room
next to her while she relaxes to fall asleep.  Dad sometimes eats dinner in the hall while
she falls asleep.  He does not eat at dinner time; he is with mom while Krystal and I
eat.  Sometimes I am loading this daily update onto the web.  So I found that she
coughed and wanted me to be in the room while she went to sleep.  I said I am going to
lie in dad’s bed, the one next to yours.  In 1 minute or 2 she started that deep
breathing almost like a snore.  Other nights I come in there and dad is asleep in the
little bed next to hers.  I tell mom she needs to go to sleep.  She blinks her eyes in
effort to try.  In 5 minutes she has fallen asleep.  It is as if she needs to know where
dad is and that she is not missing anything.  She is very a wear of her surroundings
and likes someone to be with her even if it is just lying beside one another holding
hands.  I feel special when she wants to be with me.



March 30, 2006
Amber-
The PT, Bryan, has had a great week with mom.  She was very sick last weekend, so
therapy did not come on Monday or Tuesday.  Mom worked hard on Wednesday and
Thursday with Bryan even though she did not feel well.  Today they practiced sit to
stand.  Bryan said after one of the lifts, that mom stood the straightest he has ever
seen her.  He added that mom did not lean onto him, but held her self up and straight.  
I was right there beside them, 2 times mom put her arm around him as he asked.  She
worked and worked.  She even smiled 2 times.  Even though Bryan is beginning to see
mom do more things he is still happy and surprised each time.  It is big deal to him just
like it is to us.  I can not help with the sit to stand, one person has to do all the work.  
Only the person lifting can tell how much weight mom is really doing herself. I stand on
her left side and cover my mouth in excitement each time, as if, it is the first time.  Each
time is different; it may be faster, on her own totally, more stable, or wow great that she
is repeating something.  That is what they want to see, her do a task 5 times in a row
without delay.  Thanks for a good day mom.


March 29, 2006
Jerrall-
TODAY DEBBIE IS ON, SHE HAD TO WEAR HER SEAT BELT IN THE
WHEELCHAIR                            Debbie did not sleep all night and suction was better
but still filled the canister in 6 hours.  Debbie was calm all night just could not go to
sleep back to the brain injury mode.  Anything is better than being sick.  This morning
started extra early but at least I had the energy to get up.  It took an hour to get
Debbie up and dressed and washed off with a wash cloth.  I got her dressed in a new
pink pants suit if that does not make her feel better than an old t-shirt for therapy.  
This morning we worked on Debbie’s mouth for over an hour it had been 3 days since
it had been done right because she had been sick.  Debbie is extra on.  When I asked
her to stick out her tongue she did great.  I hope Robin can see it today.  
Bryan was sweating so much in PT session I had to get him a towel.  I have never seen
anything like it.  Debbie and Bryan were so focus first on setting a lone to a point
Debbie fell over.  This was a good thing.  Then on set to stand from her wheelchair.  
Debbie walked 3 miles a day before her accident walking was a huge part of her life.  
Debbie was also working hard Bryan could tell by Debbie’s exhaustion at the end.
They had to quit because Debbie could not even hold her head up.  It was a special
moment when two people work together or the same goal.  We are not talking about
walking, they were working on being able to put weight on right leg.  If Debbie can
relearn this it will help so much with a lot of things.  After PT left Speech came and
went.  Then Debbie and I were setting in the kitchen looking out that west window.  
Everything was quit and all of a sudden Debbie grabbed the arm rest of her wheelchair
with her right hand and pulled herself forward 12”.  I had to jump up and hold her back
so she would not fall in the floor.  Debbie also had her right leg up in the air.  You
could tell Debbie’s legs would not work and even her left arm but that did not change
the fact of the will power Debbie had to get out of that chair.  Debbie is strong enough
to pull her self in the floor with her right arm.  From now on Debbie needs to wear her
seat belt in the wheelchair to give us time to react to such a jester.  Bryan you would
have been proud it was like a 2 hour delay on your therapy session.
Debbie had more trouble with speech.  Trying to use her legs may not use as much
concentration but with speech I could tell by the increase in tremors in right hand how
frustrated Debbie was.  A couple of times Debbie shut down completely.  Robin is
trying her best but Debbie needs to have more control of her muscles.  Debbie has
come so far but still needs time.  The tremor in her tongue will have to get better
before Debbie can control her tongue.
NOTE: I saw Debbie several times point with right finger at what she wanted.  All so, I
saw Debbie point at the motion sensor on the ceiling and wanted to know what it  was.  
Today was the best day for Bryan yet.  




March 28, 2006
Jerrall-
What a difference one day can make.  Debbie had a better night.  Last night she still
has a breathing issue, but she was not afraid.  When Debbie would need to cough she
would open her mouth wide and expect me to be there to help.  I still filled a whole
suction canister with green debris but it was not as bad as the last three nights.  
Debbie was so tired she slept in her chair most of the morning.  I was so tired I
changed beds with Amber at 7 am and Amber let me sleep until 1 pm.  This is a first.  
When I got up Amber said Krystal and I had to go to the doctor.  This cold has gone on
long enough.  Amber is very sick also but she wanted me to get checked and ask for
an antibiotic for her.  The primary care doctor knows our family very well.  The doctor
put all three of us on antibiotics.  My bones were so cold when we got home I had to lie
in the bath tub in hot water to get warm.  By 4:30 I told Amber I was ready to be with
Debbie.  For the past 2 hours Debbie only needed her mouth cleaned once.  Debbie
appears to be feeling so much better.  She never got colds before her accident and
her immune system is as good as before.  One thing that has changed is Debbie
breathing and her cough has gotten so much stronger.  Tomorrow we are going to
start back with therapy it will be interesting to see what speech says.  
Another thing that is different is when Debbie wakes up at sun rise which is getting
earlier everyday around 6 am Debbie is not jumping, not afraid, instead I will watch her
and she will be pulling on her lips.  The last two mornings I have given Debbie a wash
cloth with one corner wet and I put it in her right hand.  I do not say anything but she
will rub on her lips and then put the corner in her mouth and suck on it.  It is like
Debbie is thirsty or her mouth is extra dry.  Debbie then goes back to sleep for about a
½ hour.
9:30 pm Debbie is tired of this cough.  I can tell because when I pat on her chest she
smacks my arm and my face.  You do not have to be a doctor to get Debbie’s
message.  I wonder who invented a suction machine.  Debbie has not coughed in 2
hours. A rattle is in her throat, she has to clear it before she Debbie lies down.  Finally,
Debbie coughed and I caught it with the suction wand, now we can get ready for bed.



March 27, 2006
Jerrall-
The last 24 hours have been the most challenging since Debbie has been home (July
2003).  Today Debbie is not fighting a brain injury cognitive battle, but a simple cold.  
Debbie appears more alert than usual and I have never seen her cough stronger.  I
guess when you have to fight for every breath you can do more than you thought
possible.  This experience will definitely change Debbie’s routine.  I wonder which way.  
Normally Debbie’s oxygen level is 98% or above but since Friday at 2 am when I
started pulling green saliva out of her throat 95% has been the norm.  Some times
Debbie has been dropping to 90%.  Last night Debbie did not take a shower, instead
went to bed to rest.  The first 2 hours went ok, but around 1 am Debbie would start
coughing and stayed asleep.  On the second cough I would catch debris.  All night
long the pulse/oxygen alarm would go off, or Debbie would be chocking.  There was no
way anyone in the house could sleep.  At 3 am Debbie could not get her breath for
several minutes and was coughing and chocking at the same time.  We must have
been making a lot of noise because Amber came running in to the room to help.  This
has never happened before.  I hated for Amber to see Debbie fighting for her life, but it
was great to have an extra pair of hands.  Debbie’s body temperature is normal, now if
she can just keep her oxygen level up.  By 10 am Debbie was up in her chair and
doing a lot better.  I got to sleep for 3.5 hours before Amber had to go to school.

March 26, 2006
Jerrall-
3 am Krystal and I just got Debbie to bed. We have been at the ER since 10 pm.  The
doctor that saw Debbie tonight was the same doctor that put the tube in Debbie’s left
lung 3 years ago on April 4th.  He remembered Debbie after all this time.  The car that
hit Debbie and Krystal crushed the left side, moving Debbie’s seat over the console
closer to the passenger window.  Beside a brain injury, as Debbie becomes more
cognitive the injury to the left side is more apparent.  Debbie’s restpertory system is
her biggest issue.  I keep her breathing 24/7 with out help this would have ended years
ago.  An example would be:  just now Debbie’s oxygen alarm went off, she dropped to
89, I had to pat her chest and massage her throat to get her to take bigger breath,
even though she is a sleep.  Tonight the doctor said the chest x-rays showed
something on right lung.  The diagnosis was BACTERIAL PNEUMONIA.  Debbie has
only had a color to her saliva less than 24 hours.  The doctor wrote a script for
Antibiotic for 10 days.  He said if we have any more problems come back.  What he
really said (the doctor that put in the chest drain tube) was what do I expect.  He meant
that he knows how bad she is hurt, but he can not do much for us.  He said they will
send us home with antibiotic and I need aggressive suction and pat on her lungs.  To
get medical help with a brain injury I guess the patient has to stop breathing.  I do not
mean that bad, I just wish people would not give up before they even see the x-rays.  
After all this time don’t they know Debbie and I are not going to quit.  Take the good
times and it is hard to live with the bad times but what other choice do we have.
It is 4 am Debbie is 94/78 and asleep.  I need to try to get some sleep tomorrow is only
2 hours away and Debbie still has to get over this cold.  
Everything is going better than expected.  Debbie has stayed asleep and when she
coughs I get the suction wand and put it in her mouth and catch the saliva on the
second cough.  Anything that works to keep fluid out of her lungs.  In 3 hours I have
filled a 1200cc canister on the suction machine.  Time is going fast and now it is day
light, I do not feel as tired.  Debbie’s oxygen will drop to 92 and the alarm will sound
just before she coughs and then comes back to 95 or 96.  With no extra oxygen.  I
have been giving Debbie extra fluid and her urine out put is good.  This morning
Debbie’s temperature is 98.6, pulse is 99 which is high, and oxygen level is 95%.
Debbie slept until 11 am and then I got her up in her chair.  She is still tired; I dimmed
the lights, kept it quite, and gave her time.  Still a little rattle is in her throat, but
appears better setting in the chair.
NOTE: I took the trash out awhile ago bare foot.  When I felt the new grass on my feet
a memory came to mind of spring when Debbie and I first got married and would go
bare foot in the park on a Sunday and fly kites.  That was 31 years ago and I have
never though of this before.  It is funny the things you think about at a time like this.  
Debbie is going to be ok it just takes a little longer right now.  When I took Debbie’s
temperature she reached out and graded my head and pulled me to her chest.  
Sometimes one of us just needs a hug.
2 pm Debbie is in the chair leaned back watching Mr. Deeds on TV. Everything is
going ok oxygen 95%, and pulse 99 and temp ok. Debbie has not had to be suctioned
in an hour.  Slight tremor in her tongue and right arm.
2:30 pm Temp. 99   94/97  ox/pulse I am very tired, I am going to lie on the mat.
3 pm I had to get Debbie back up in the chair. Still having suction problem 95/89 temp
warm.  Debbie is very tired.  Amber is home now, I think it is time to lie down and get
ready for tonight.


March 25, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie is definitely sick with this cold that Amber and I have.  This is the first time
Debbie has been sick since her accident.  I have suctioned and cleaned Debbie’s
mouth all night since 2 am.  Debbie does not have a strong cough, so I need to pay
close attention.  I got Debbie up out of the bed at 5 am and that helped.  

Amber-
Wow, how do you sooth mom’s throat?  She is coughing, but most of the time it is a dry
cough that hurts.  If I suction her, I think it burns if she does not have a lot of saliva
there.  She is cognitive; you can tell she needs some sleep.  Finally at 2 pm I was able
to get a lot of saliva out of her throat that had been bothering her for 30 minutes. She
feels so good now and is beginning to fall asleep.

Jerrall-
It is 4:30 pm and I finally got up.  That was the first 6 hours sleep I can remember in a
long time.  I still do not have my voice but the body cramps are gone.  It is my turn to
be with Debbie. I can hear her coughing from the kitchen.  When I transferred Debbie
from her chair to the mat I could hear all of the mucus in her.  When I move her she
coughs, but not enough for the suction wand to reach.  When I got Debbie laid down
and she sounded so bad I wanted to check her oxygen level. It was 93 -94 and the
pulse was 108.  So I put the oxygen on her and Debbie came back up to 98-100 and it
calmed her, her pulse was 97.  Debbie’s temperature is 99.5 at 5:30 pm.  She has
eaten, had meds, and is setting in her wheelchair tilted back with a towel over her
eyes.  I am setting by her holding her hand and the only thing moving is her tongue
slightly.  I hope the next two days go fast this is too real.  It is 6:30 pm, Debbie is still in
her chair I noticed her ox level was low at 94 and pulse was up at108 so I changed ox
bottle and ox level came back up to 98 and calmed pulse to 102.  There is a lot of
movement with her right hand.  
7pm I called cmc home health, the on call nurse said I was doing all I could do and to
give primary care doctor to see if he wanted to do some thing.  I put call in, I not heard
back.
8pm Debbie had usual meds 1-diaspam, 2-edivil, 10cc benadryl, and 2 teaspoons of
delsym(cough med)    Temp left arm 99.1  +1= 100.1     96/97 ox/pulse I have ox on
nose.
9pm back up in chair 96/97 with ox on nose eye open but jerky right leg and hand.  We
rolled in bed and patted her back to loosen the debris with no luck. Debbie can not
stay in bed, the fluid could settle in the lungs.  We will try the chair for awhile.  After 10
minutes in chair 99/94 and no rattle.  Still no call from primary care, but as long as ox
level above 92 and I can keep saliva moist no problem except for my nerves.  This is
so real I hope I am not putting Debbie in any extra pain.  No one else can tell me what
to do so we will do what my mom did for me as a boy.  A warm wash cloth, a warm
hand, and a lot of love and time.  The ice chips appear to be working, keeping saliva
moist.
9:30 pm The primary care nurse calls back.  I tell her Debbie is doing better and she
says take Debbie to the ER to get evaluation and chest X-RAY.  This is not what I want
to hear.  Krystal helps get Debbie ready and off we go.
10 pm at ER in Pineville.  Oxygen level 95% Debbie is asleep and has no rattle in
chest.



March 24, 2006
Jerrall-
I have loss my voice this morning but Amber is sick also and Debbie is not. but extra on
today.  So today will be interesting.  Debbie woke up at 5 am this morning; I got in bed
with her and rolled her on her left side.  Debbie never went back to sleep but she has
been calm all morning.  Debbie has been turning her head and shaking her fist several
times this morning when I got in front of the TV.  Every morning Debbie watches Regis
and Kelly while she gets her meds and formula.  This morning Debbie is fighting me
with everything we need do.  Bryan, the PT will be here at 11 am so I need to try once
again to get Debbie dressed.   
Today with PT Debbie tried to practice set to stand from her wheelchair.  Today
Debbie was extra on but could not control the extra energy with her muscles.  After 3
pm the PT ties and said not today, got on the mat to work on setting balance.  Bryan
said every time they do setting balance Debbie is get better and stronger.  But Debbie
standing must be the next step in recovery.  I remember Dec. 2003 when the therapist
said Debbie would have to be more cognitive to put her foot down to help with
transfer.  Now as of Jan. 2006 Debbie is helping with transfer.  So who can say about
set to stand we just needs lots of practice.  Also we need to practice rolling over. Here
are 4 PT goals.
        Setting Balance
        Roll over
        Right foot help with transfer
        Set to stand
Today with Susanne OT Debbie even sprayed the cleaner on the table by herself.


At 5 pm Debbie had meds and formula in living and Debbie is extra calm.  I think
Debbie may be sick like Amber and I am.  Tonight I am cleaning a lot of dark saliva
from her throat. Debbie is reaching out for me and pointing to her lips as she wants
them cleaned.  Tonight Debbie, Amber, Krystal and I went to mall looking for a prom
dress.  Debbie did really well.  We found 3 more jackets and pants for Debbie.  Debbie
would reach out and touch the material and nod yes.  When we got home Debbie took
a shower and off to bed.  Debbie did not go to sleep until 12:30 am.  
                        THIS DAY WENT FAST

Amber-
Mom kept good eye contact with the OT at 2 pm.  Suzanne wanted mom to practice
different things at the table.  She moved her over to the dinning room table and began
with cleaning her tray.  I held the tray in front of her at an angle.  This way she had a
vertical surface to clean that was with 8 inches in reach.  First mom was asked to get
the Windex bottle to spray the surface.  This is my fist time seeing mom do this,
Suzanne and her have practiced a few times.  Mom grabbed the bottle and had her
hand in the correct place to spray.  Suzanne said; ok now let’s spray the tray.  **Mom
pulled the lever back to spay on her own.  Suzanne’s face lit up, she was very proud.  
She said it was mom’s first time to spray the Windex on her own.  Before Suzanne
would press the leaver on top of mom’s hand.  So mom created a new memory by
repetition.  Great job mom.  See, many new things are happening.  This exercise is
done to have mom feel like she is doing something purposeful.  Mom then had to grab
the paper towel to clean the surface.  She reached over for the towel and began to
wipe the tray.  Suzanne would say how about this spot way up here as she was
pointing.  Mom would reach even further to get that spot.  If mom paused Suzanne
would touch mom’s elbow to assist her.  Suzanne did say mom was not resisting her
when she helped.  She said mom tends to keep her right arm tight and pulls back when
Suzanne tries to show her how far her arm reach is.  The next activity we did was
putting rings on the hook.  Mom has not liked doing this lately, since it feels like an
activity that has no purpose.  This time she picked up each ring and put it onto the
hook.  She put on about 9 rings.  If she could not get the ring on the hook she would
adjust the ring in her hand to hold it at another angle.  This is a big deal.  It takes a lot
to decide how to hold the ring correctly and be able to change the direction.  Suzanne
and I were ecstatic.  Mom is so amazing and has the drive to really make it through
this.  Her next task was to work on folding a hand towel for the first time.  Suzanne did
guide her hand a little bit, but mom reached her arm out on her own.  Mom picked up
the edge of the cloth on her own and Suzanne used a light touch to show her which
side to drop the corner onto.  Mom had to push the cloth way out in front of her to say
it was done.  Suzanne showed her the first one and the second one mom pushed it
away to show she was done.  Suzanne was happy with their session and repeated that
mom had good control of her right hand.  The jerking and tightness was not present as
usual.  
One day we will look back on this journey, read our journal, and be glad we wrote down
all the small things mom had to over come.  I am sure it will be hard to remember all the
steps it takes to relearn how to walk, talk, and eat.  
3:16 pm .Mom has begun to get the same cold dad and I have.  Her throat is dry and
makes her cough.  I have her 2 small pieces of ice.  When I put the spoon to her lips
she took the ice off well.  She put her lips together around the spoon and took the ice
in as if she was eating soup.  She never ceases to amaze me.


March 23, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had a good nights sleep.  The saliva issue got better before the shower.  
Amber and I traded bed rooms at 7 am.  Some how I have a bad cold almost like the
flu. My bones hurt and my head if full of debris.  I am trying to stay away from Debbie
today.  Tonight Krystal is showing Debbie her graduation cap and gown.  Debbie is
calm, but first shook her head yes then shook her head no.  I wonder what Debbie is
thinking.  I plan to take Debbie to Krystal’s graduation, I will keep my fingers crossed.


Amber-
Mom was relaxed from morning to night.  We did our own therapies before OT and
speech came.  Mom did sit to stand very well and bit down on the celery stick great.  
She did not communicate with me as much, but during her speech session at 4 pm that
changed.  OT came at 2 pm and had mom practice taking her shirt off and on.  In the
middle she asked mom to take off her glasses.  Mom helped take them off.  When it
was time to put them back on, mom did it on her own.  The glasses landed on the end
of her nose, so Susanne asked her to push them up.  Susanne showed her on herself
how to push them up.  This means that Susanne had her finger on her own nose.  So
mom reached up and touch Susanna’s nose.  Susanne said I want you to do your
own.  Mom then pushed her glasses up into the proper place.  I was behind and to the
side of mom.  My eyes began to tear up and cover my mouth as if it were going to
make a loud exciting yell, which would be distracting.  I was proud to see her touch
Susanne’s nose.  I felt like I was having the emotions we used to have when mom did
something for the first time.  We would have a happy cry.  I remember crying the first
time she gave a kiss, reached out, sat up for 30 seconds, put her lips together, smiled,
and closed her eyes.  I have not seen her practice touching her face or anyone else’s
for awhile.  We then practiced sitting balance on the mat.  Mom did a great job holding
her own balance with only small cues.  While practicing her sitting balance she was
asked to take her glasses off and on again.  She took them off and on fast and with
out trouble.   She did a wonderful job, I think Susanne was a bit shocked.  When she
first came in mom seemed too relaxed to do anything, I told her she was just playing
possum.  Susanne is not used to mom doing everything you ask when you ask and
without hesitation.  I was glad to see her happy and walking away with a job well done
feeling. You can tell when a therapist leaves with that amazed feeling that they just
experienced something unique and special.  They are now learning how to cope with
the ups and downs of someone being extremely on one day and not so (on) other
days.  After seeing mom on one day to the extreme makes you tend to expect her to
be on every time you see.  When you see that each day is different it seems to let
them down in a sense until they know she may not be on everyday, but every other
day is good to.  We used to be sad to start each day over.  Now we know the next day
may not be as wonderful as the last but with in the next day or two we will see her
again. That lifts our spirits and we are able to cope easier.  They are just learning this,
but hey that means mom is showing her true self and what she can do, around other
people.  This means she will be able to communicate better with others and become
more independent each day.



March 22, 2006
Jerrall-     
Life is so fragile at this point.  The whole trip Debbie did great with sleep and no
suction.  Last night the left eye turned red, her right eye went up under her eye lid,
and that saliva issue.  It was intense enough that we did not take a shower.  Debbie
slept thru the night and until noon today.  This morning Debbie’s mouth was ok and I
got her ready for Robin, speech at 1:30 pm. Debbie was not on for Robin, but did not
have a saliva issue either.  When Robin left I laid Debbie down on the mat to rest.  
After ½ hour Debbie started a saliva issue and her left eye was so swollen or puffy that
liquid was running out.  When I would raise her right eye lid, her pupil would go farther
up under her eye lid.  I put the pulse ox on Debbie’s left finger and her oxygen level
was 98 %.  This is good news.  After 1 ½ hours of suction, up and down in chair and
pulling thick saliva out of her mouth with a tooth brush, finally Debbie’s right eye is
starting to come open.  There is still a lot of jerking on her right side.  I wish medical
people could see this because this could end everything.  When I show them pictures
and describe this, everyone says they do not know and look at me like I am crazy to
have Debbie at home.  At least this is not as common as it used to be.  Today Robin
did not say anything about Debbie not being on, but that I gave to much information.  
Debbie has Neurological issues that if no one knows what to do at least I have some
type of records.  
8 pm here we go again her left eye looks like all of the blood vessels have busted, and
are swollen.  Her throat has excessive drainage with her oxygen level at 97 and pulse
at 88.  I gave her 15 cc benydril and 10 cc zortec we just have to wait and see.  By 8:
30 pm her oxygen level was 94, so I put oxygen on Debbie’s nose. Within a minute she
back up to 97 and after 3 minutes up to 98.  
Now it is 9:15 pm, Debbie is laying on the mat with her right leg up in the air and
jerking, ox 97/80.  The drainage in her throat is getting better. Debbie coughed and I
caught it with suction wand.  Debbie gets a shower tonight when Amber gets home this
will help with drainage and for sure make Debbie feel better.



March 21, 2006
Jerrall-
We got home at 3 am Debbie was asleep in the van.  Debbie woke up as I carried her
to her bedroom but went right back to sleep.  Debbie slept in this morning until after 9
am.  Maybe because it is a cloudy rainy day and no sun came through the window.  I
laid down for 3 hours while Amber worked with Debbie.  Bryan, PT came at 1 pm today
to do Debbie’s 8 week resert day.  If Debbie makes progress every 8 weeks the
therapist will continue to work with her.  Today when Bryan was finished he asked me
what I though about out patient therapy.  This is the first time this has come up, I think
it would just be the next step in Debbie’s recovery.  Baby steps and one day at a time,
there are a lot of days before the middle of May.
I have been thanking about making a DVD for Debbie to watch everyday to remind and
help Debbie do her exercises and flash cards.  Debbie pays a different kind of
attention to the TV then to any therapist, so how this can be turned into a positive.  We
will talk to Robin tomorrow during speech session.

Amber-
Mom and I were watching TV tonight and she reached out to hold my hand several
times.  At 9:30 pm did sit to stand to transfer to the mat.  In the standing position I
asked her to stand up, hold herself up, like the therapist does.  She did the best
standing I have ever felt.  She was strong with her right leg.  She pushed up like a
pumping motion 3 small times.  We sat up on the mat for a few minuets.  At 10 pm she
began to have a small saliva issue.  This turned into a huge saliva issue.  She had
benidrill and sat up in the chair with a warm wash cloth on her eyes.  The saliva was
draining from the roof of her mouth down into her throat.  It was not as you would think,
clogged in her throat from saliva pooling in her throat.  It was pooling, but the source
was her sinus pathway providing the fluid.  Dad got her out of the chair and laid her on
her left side on the mat.  He does this to drain the fluid out of her throat and mouth into
her check and we can suction it out. Then she feels better and can get a good nights
rest.
We wondered if she was over stimulated this weekend, today, or sick.  10:49 pm we
found this all happened from her simply needed to have a bowel movement.  She was
not over stimulated, just not able to tell us how she felt.




March 20, 2006
Jerrall-
It is 9:30 pm and we just changed drivers in Knoxville Tennessee. We are on our way
home to Charlotte.  Amber is driving and Debbie and I are laying on the air bed I made
for Debbie in the middle of the van.  Debbie came on about 2 hours ago, she was
sitting up front and was watching everything outside.  When we pasted a semi truck
Debbie would turn her head, OT would be so happy.  Now Debbie reached out and
grabbed my arm and wanted me to hold her hand under the blanket.  Debbie is so
calm but only the light from this laptop is not enough to see much and Debbie is not
sure where we are.  I said Debbie we are going home and she replied with a big smile.  
Debbie knows it is me with her and appears willing to do anything as long as she can
touch me.  Hopefully Debbie will take a nap before long.
This trip has been the best yet since Debbie’s accident.  Debbie has gone to sleep
every night and has not needed suction all night long.  Best of all Debbie has woke up
every morning and been with us (cognitively) after 5 pm each day.  Debbie has slept in
a real bed, taken a bath in a real bathtub, and even used a real comrade.  These are
little thing she has not done in a long time.  This weekend has broken up our regular
routine which has been great.  When we get home I think we will make some needed
changes because I think Debbie understands more now but also needs to feel useful
to keep her motivated in her recovery.  We can give Debbie the opportunity to get
better but she has to want it and do the work.  Baby steps and one day at a time.
I never have told the girls just how much a difference they make in Debbie’s life.  
Without there help all the road trips Debbie has made would not be possible.  THANK
YOU AMBER AND KRYSTAL. Debbie is 5 foot tall and 138 pounds.  The first year we
did not go anywhere just rehab and home health therapy.  The second year Debbie
did therapy but also we took her to the outer banks three times.  At first Debbie was
just coming out of a coma so I would put a piece of plywood on the sand with her
wheelchair on top and carry her from the truck and set her in her chair.  Some days
Debbie would be asleep and some days she would stare off at the water.  After 3 trips
in 2004 Debbie seemed more alert after each trip.  By the end of 2004 Debbie’s meds
were so high she was paralyzed she could not even set up or roll over (Baclafin and
Klopins).  I do not blame any one, Debbie needed a lot of meds at first to prevent
contractures and as she woke up over the first 2 years the meds became too much.  
Still even today I have to adjust meds because of changes.  The coma doctor only
sees Debbie every 6 mouths and there are a lot changes in that amount of time.  The
doctors always say they do not know, everyone is different but after 24 / 7 I can tell
where we are in the recovery but no ones knows how much recovery is possible.  I
know the care giver and patient can not every give up.  Every morning I ask Debbie to
stick out her tongue or smile so I can tell how much Debbie is with me.  May seem
basic but it works for me since they do not make a meter.  I also know recovery is
limited with to much meds and time is my worst enemy.    


Amber-
Ok, wow let me tell you something cute and neat.  Dad was driving the van, mom was
sitting in the front passenger seat, I was knelling beside mom, and Krystal was sleeping
in the back.  It was dark and raining so we had to use a flashlight to see anything.  
Mom was wiping her mouth and sounded like she had a dry throat or needed her
throat cleaned.  I leaned over to look in her mouth with a flashlight.  I looked and said
that I could check her throat if she wanted.  She COVERED her mouth with her hand in
a cupping motion.  She held it over her mouth for more than 10 seconds.  I said ok, I
will let it be and she moved her hand.  I then asked if she was sure she was ok.  She
COVERED it again and held for 30 seconds or more.  Later on she did this again.  
Wonderful.  Later on dad drove again for the second time and mom was getting ready
for bed.  She had gotten her bed meds and continued to be on and relaxed like the
night we drove up there.  We are on our way home now.  We were lying side by side
again.  My arm was close to her and about 2 inches on top of her elbow a bit.  She
moved my wrist over to my side and brought her elbow around and up. To get her
elbow free she had to maneuver quite well.  We practice up and down, over and
around is not a movement we do.  She is coming up with real and purposeful
movements everyday.  I know she can do things like this, I was excited to see her move
my arm and hers so easy.  She knew what she wanted and she did it on her own.  
Tonight she held my hand again like she did as she fell asleep like the night we drove
up there.  This time dad did not ask if she was holding my hand, she reached out on
her own.  She fell asleep holding my hand.  Sometimes she pulled it up closer to her.  I
felt like I had my little girl in my arms, watching how wonderful it is she is alive.  She is
not my child, but some emotions are the same.  How many people get to hold their
mother close to them and not let go?  Hugging her is the closest I can get to original
emotions I had before her wreck.  Over the last few months, mom’s changes are
occurring faster than usual.  This is great, just hard to adjust so fast to letting go at the
same time.  It is like a 4 month old growing into a 20 year old in a month.  Like the
movie Big, when Tom Hanks went from 13 to 30 ish.  You expect for her to maybe not
be able to do something on her own and then she does the entire task without help or
commands.  This comes and goes, so we are not sure exactly when to let go.  She is
making progress at a phenomenal rate.   


March 19, 2006
Janet (Jerrall’s Sister)-
Today was so interesting!  All of Debbie’s brothers and sisters and their children and
two grandchildren came to see Debbie again at the hotel (Drury Inn).  We all spent
time together in the hotel lobby, then the swimming pool area, and then back to our
room.  Twenty-five people in all made time in their busy schedules to come and see
and be with Debbie for the last two days.  Linda, Steve, Brad and Paula were all here
with spouses and children.  Paula was the last to leave.  She spent some valuable
minutes talking to Debbie, telling her that she missed her.  Debbie made an expression
with her face that looked like she wanted to cry.  She looked right at Paula and hugged
her.  It was a special moment.  Then Debbie played with a sponge ball that Nancy had
brought her and gave it to Krystal and then took it from her several times.  Amber
exercised Debbie on the folding table and Debbie would lean back and then sit up by
herself.  She was very alert.  When everyone left, Krystal and I had a good time
reviewing pictures in my camera and making a short video.  We laughed and laughed
at how funny it was!  It was good to laugh!  Jerrall got hungry and had to have a snack
before going to bed!  This is our last night together for awhile, so I am sad.  But I love
my brother and everyone in his family.  I see a cooperative attitude between Jerrall and
the girls that I haven’t seen before.  Everyone is very positive about Debbie’s progress.

Jerrall-
Last night Debbie went right to sleep with no suction needed all night.  With all Debbie
has been though the last three days Debbie shows no sign of over stimulation.  What
Debbie has been doing tonight is rubbing her head, some thing is going on inside in a
good way.  Amber and I gave Debbie a bath this morning in a real bath tub.  Debbie
really had a great time we will have to do this more often.  Tomorrow is that long car
ride hope it does not snow before we head south it is so cold in Ill.  We will drop Janet
off at the airport in Paducah Ky. tomorrow on our way to Charlotte.  Janet flew here for
the week end from Houston and 80 degrees.         





March 18, 2006
Jerrall
Debbie slept great again last night with no suction in a real bed.  Today is our first full
day in Marion our home town I wonder what today will be like.        

Amber-
Today several family members come over to the hotel.  It was great having a sitting
area for everyone to spend time together and go in and out as they needed.  Tonight
Uncle Brad showed mom a wallet size picture of his grandson.  By surprise to all, she
grabbed the picture appropriately and held it down where she wanted.  She looked
down at it and gave it back.  She did not bend the picture at all.  It seemed like she was
adjusting the picture to the height she needed at that time.  You know how some
people put reading glasses on to see items closer or hold objects farther away it they
do not have their reading glasses on?  Well I think she was acting like she did not have
reading glasses on, so she moved the picture away and down.  How interesting and
fantastic??




March 17, 2006
Jerrall-
Today Debbie and I have been married 31 years time goes so fast when you are
having fun.  I am not sure what you give your wife at this point in your life but before
the accident Debbie enjoyed sleeping in and taking a spa baths (soaking in sea
weed).  This is some thing you can not buy at the store.  So believe it or not Debbie
went to sleep in the van at 11:30 pm last night and is still is still a sleep this morning at
12 noon at the motel.  Debbie sleeps in some times but what makes this different is
that we got to sleep in the same bed and Debbie did not wear any of her braces or
have to have her left eye taped last night.  THIS IS A FIRST.
We are about 1 hour from Debbie’s and my home town in southern IL.  We have not
been back to Ill since 2001 when we went to Debbie’s mom’s funeral. Debbie has not
wanted to do simple therapy for three weeks.  She will do other things only if they
appear to have a purpose like wipe off the table or put her shirt on or try to improve
her balance.  Debbie and PT have been practicing set to stand from her wheelchair so
Debbie wants out from where she is often.  In the van the first of the trip Debbie pulled
the door handle open she wanted out of the van already.  Bryan you would be proud
but we have a few hours yet to go.
At noon I finally woke Debbie up so she could eat breakfast, meds and get dressed.  
Debbie woke up ok both eyes clear but not wanting to respond to chit chat. By 1 pm we
headed to Marion Ill. checked in to the motel for a rest before the next step.  When
Debbie saw her room she smiled so big.  I put her folding table in front of an out side
wall that is all windows and on the fifth floor.  I turned Debbie over on her left side and
Debbie would look out the window just like it was a big screen TV it was great.               
After Debbie ate and had meds and got dressed we were all off to my dad’s house.
When we arrived I got Debbie’s wheelchair out of the back of the van and placed it by
her door of the van.  I opened Debbie’s door picked her up and set her in her special
chair
and my dad walked up and reached out to shake Debbie’s hand to everyone’s surprise
Debbie reach out also and grabbed my dad’s hand and she looked at his face and
gave the biggest smile of the whole trip.  Debbie definitely knew who my dad was
Debbie’s long term memory is vary much there.  Dad did not know how to respond to
this type of injury so dad really did not try to talk with Debbie this is the most common
response Debbie gets.  All in all it was a good visit we stayed about 6 hours.  My Aunt
Zalma and Uncle Carl which is 90 came over to dads to see Debbie also.
We got back to the motel around 10 pm and Debbie’s sister Linda and her husband
stopped by the motel to visit for a while.  Debbie went right to sleep tonight this has
been a full and calm day.


March 16, 2006
Jerrall-
This morning Debbie woke up around sunrise which is a little after 6 am these days.  
Shopping last night was great then a shower so Debbie did not get to bed until after
midnight. That is ok once in a while before the accident we missed our bed time before
especially if we were doing something fun.  Today went too fast.  Debbie and I spent
the whole morning in the kitchen cleaning her mouth, washing her face and getting all
of her supplies packed for the trip.
It is 4 pm and I am putting Debbie in the front seat of the van and we are off on our trip
to southern Ill. where Debbie and I were born.  We have not been there in 5 years and
only 3 people there have every seen Debbie since her accident.  For most of them this
will be day one and probably they will be in shock.  Only 1 hour in to the trip and
Debbie pulled on her door handle of the van and opened the door.  Amber had to get
out and close Debbie’s door.  I hope the whole trip is not going to be like this.
We stopped in Shelby NC. At 5 pm to let Debbie eat and move to the back seat.  We
are driving west and the sunset over the Smokey Mountains is great every thing has a
yellow glow.  When it got dark I held a DVD player so Debbie could watch a movie.  
That was great to past 1.5 hours.  We continued to change positions often so Debbie’s
bottom did not get sore.  Early about 11 pm Debbie went to sleep in the van on her air
bed I made her.  We did not get in to the motel until 4am so Debbie slept a lot of the
trip which is great.  When I got Debbie to bed at the motel she never woke up until 9
am the next morning.  This was a real bed we both could sleep in and tonight was the
first night for Debbie to sleep with out any of her braces.  This first day and night away
from the house has been surprising almost normal like old times.  Just like a girl wants
to be beautiful when she goes out in public I can tell Debbie is making an extra effort
today to do things that at home would not be happening.  
It is so cold up here when we got out of the van I hope we are doing the right thing.  
But on the other hand how can you measure Debbie getting to see her 2 brothers and
2 sister that she raise until she was 16 years old while her mom worked.  Also we will
get to see my father which is 83 years old and my older sister Janet.  Almost every trip
Janet flies from Houston to be with use even if it is only a long week end.  Debbie and
Janet have always had some thing to laugh about.  I know it is hard for Janet to see
Debbie like this but Janet always stays positive and has fill a large void in my girls life.  
Only 2 times have I seen her break down the first time was watching Debbie putting a
ball on the Christmas tree 2003.  I love you sister and am always here for you if you
need anything.  


Amber-
At the end of our drive up to Kentucky, I laid in the back of the van with mom.  She had
her bedtime meds at midnight and she continued to be alert, while relaxing.  Dad
asked 2 times if mom was holding my hand.  Each time mom took her right hand and
reached over to grab my hand.  She held it for about 5 minuets.   We were lying side
by side on an air mattress; she had to reach out 6 inches without looking.  This felt
amazing that she would want to hold my hand (choose to hold my hand).  I was very
happy and shocked.  She fell asleep holding my finger in her hand.  I curled up to her
listening to her breathing.




March 15, 2006
Jerrall-        
Last night we got Debbie to bed by 10 pm witch is earlier than usual. The last couple of
weeks Debbie has been getting tired without meds this is a first.  It did not take long for
Debbie to fall asleep.  I changed Debbie at 1 am but she did not wake up.  Last night
was better needed only ½ the suction as the night before. Debbie still is waking up
around 5 am and the sun is coming up earlier every day. This morning Amber did PT
with Debbie and Bryan before she went to her first class.

Amber-
The physical therapist had a great session with mom today.  He is only cueing her with
a small amount of pressure on her hips to practice sitting balance.  He said she
responded quickly when he cued her today.  He seemed very proud.  She was calm
and in control the entire time.  She maintained her balance for about a minuet or 2 and
then readjusted to hold it again.  

Jerrall-
At 12:30 pm Susanne came for OT. Debbie and I were in the kitchen finishing lunch
formula and meds.  Susanne took Debbie to the dinning room table.  This is the
second time I have seen this.  Debbie has been changing the last 2 to 3 weeks.  
Debbie no longer wants to do useless therapy like putting rings on pegs on a ball into
the cup.  Susanne is great coming up with new ideas or ways to get Debbie to work
harder during therapy.  To day was a first Susanne asked for a cup, spoon, measuring
cup with an inch of water and some sugar.  Susanne the table up like Debbie was
going to make a cup of coffee.  Together they went through the steps and Debbie tried
at every step.  Debbie spilled some water while pouring in to cup but you can not cook
eggs with out breaking the shell.  Debbie did a great job little thing like this lets every
one see Debbie is in side that body.  After that active it was time to clean up.  Susanne
asked for paper towels and some Windex. Debbie helped Susanne spray on the
cleaner and helped wipe the table.  Debbie also wiped her tray for her wheelchair by
her self.  Then Susanne asked Debbie to fold the dish towel.  Debbie acted like I only
hand the use of one hand how could do this.  Susanne helped Debbie fold the towel
one handed and it was not perfect but Debbie got the idea.  But Susanne was not
though yet she took Debbie into the laundry room and told Debbie to put the towel in
the washing machine.  Again Debbie got the idea and tried but I will need to raise the
floor for Debbie to reach the washer.  No problem I can do this if it will make Debbie
feel more needed or useful. Susanne said to start letting Debbie help with clean up
and laundry or any thing to make Debbie feel as a part of the team.  Susanne I am to
close to the tree some times Thank You for a new way to look at things.
Robin came at 3 pm to do a speech session.  Debbie got to lie on the mat and rest for
an hour before Robin got here.  Debbie has not wanted to work with speech for a
couple of weeks.  Today Robin said Debbie injury must be in her brain stem area
causing Debbie not to be able to control her muscles in her mouth and tongue.  This I
am a where of I asked if she had read Debbie’s medical records.  I do not know about
the brain stem but Debbie is getting better control of her muscles as time goes by.  
Robin has never seen Debbie talk because it only happens at night and Robin only
see Debbie 1.5 hours a week.  Robin is good for Debbie I just hope she has the
patients.  I know Debbie has to meet goals for therapy to continue and I also know time
is the best medicine for Debbie.  It seems like Debbie and I are the only ones that have
nothing but time.  All any one can do is try there best at any given time.        
Debbie got to rest after speech for an hour.  It takes so much energy for Debbie to
consecrate with Robin before speech is finished Debbie eyes are exhausted.       
Tonight at 6:30 pm I asked Debbie do you want to go to the mall and get so pants
Debbie gave me a definite yes so off we went.  At the store she would reach out and
feel the material and take her right hand and turn them over to look at the other side.  
Colors she liked she would pull to herself and if she did not like them she would shake
her head no.  Debbie would not let me put her head rest on her wheelchair while
shopping.  We were able to find 5 outfit’s jackets, shirt and matching pants. This time
of year every thing was 50% off which made it better. NEW thing when we went to
casher to check out Debbie was setting in her wheelchair and I was standing on her
right side the sales lady was talking and putting the clothes in bags and Debbie
reached out and put her arm around me THIS IS A FIRST I turned and she had the
biggest smile.  I wish speech could be here right now.
Today has been what life is all about great day.



March 14, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept from midnight until 5 am which is good but all night long I had to keep
clearing her air way with suction carefully as not to wake her up.  Debbie does not
appear to have cold and we have not been out side since the first of March so I do not
think it is pollen.  It is more of a Nero thing no one knows when it is going to happen it
just does and you have to be ready to deal with at that time.  So this morning I got
Debbie up in her chair early and at 8:30 am got Amber up early so I could get a couple
of hours sleep.  Once Debbie was setting up she did not have any more saliva issues.  

Amber-
I have found that mom seem to be much calmer throughout the day when she has a
chance to be independent every 2 hours.  What I mean by this is with more freedom
she acts more on her own.  If we are going to turn the TV off I asked her to push the
button.  Her response was to try very hard and be happy to almost push the correct
button.  I took her head rest off before we went into the next room to lie down and she
held her head high while perking up for what ever is coming next.  If I do an activity,
even very short things, she acts like she is free and not restricted to a limited amount
of verity.  Even having her practice chewing celery for a bit she in turn calms down and
starts communicating to me.  It is like she gets board or want to control something and
once she gets the chance she is satisfied.  I have found that before if she was jumping
and wild, I would work her out so much I got worn out.  Now she settles down by having
some independence.  She may get a little agitated when she can not do the task well,
but she then finds comfort in trying.  We move so fast from day to day that we as
humans forget how fortunate we are able to do some of the small things.  If our
independence is taken we to feel frustrated.  Mom is now becoming more aware of her
surroundings and is able to do much more for herself.  In my personal feelings it is
hard to let go at times and let her be independent.  We have done everything for her
so long that it is like second nature.  It is the same I imagine like my mom said to me
before, the hardest things about having children is that when they turn 18 you must let
go.  The child has to be independent and you must pull away.  There are emotions
that come about as I begin to let her be her own person.  I feel not needed or
unwanted.  I want her to have her own life and I am proud.  These emotions come
along because we have made her our world and we do not know much else, as
mothers do with their children some times.  We started this journey saying that we are
here to keep her body healthy and moving until she is ready to do things on her own.  
If no one took care of her body till it healed, she would not have much to work with
when she came back to herself.  Our goal has always been to do this and now she is
starting to take control.  I think we have look forward to this day so long, 3 years has
gong by so fast though.  Time seems to be slow when you are counting the minuets of
someone’s life.  When you are living the life, boy they fly by before you know.  The last
3 years has moved so fast that I do not remember 23, 24, 25.  I remember 22 and
forget I am 26 at times.  Mom has blossomed over the years.  Each change she makes
takes some adjusting, but we seem to come along fine.  She has many surprise up her
sleeve, you never know when she will be on or what she is going to do.  
Today she surprised me several times.  At 12:20 we did a short class together.  I gave
her a very small piece of ice and she moved it to her right side and she chewed it up.  
WOW.  She chewed the ice and it broke.  I have not seen her be able to break the ice
in 9 months or more.  Afterwards she practiced with celery.  She did fantastic with the
celery.  At 2:32 pm I asked her what is my name was.  She mouthed Amber.  I then
asked her what her name was.  She responded by WHISPERING “my name is Debbie”
and smiled.  I was so happy.  This is new and wonderful.  It came out of her mouth
smooth and clear.  She was extremely on and aware.  At 3 pm we did the standing
frame for 30 minuets.  At the end of the time she became very relaxed.  She laid down
and was calm.  It was amazing to see her so on and then relax to the extent that she
almost fell asleep.  As I laid her down I felt all her muscles become loose all over, she
was not tight any where.  I stretched her neck while she looked peaceful.   She rested
for about 1 hour.  
At 7 pm we tried the potty chair.  She was jumping and I knew she needed to potty.  
She tried, she was unable to control that muscle yet.  She was firm on the idea of
trying though.  She thought about it so hard.  The more we practice the easier it will
be.  Don’t give up mom.  




March 13, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept in this morning until 9:30 am which is different.  With only 3 hours sleep
Saturday night this is a great thing.  Therapy starts at 11 am some times I wonder if we
will be ready but some how it works out.  Some of Debbie’s best sessions happen when
5 minutes before the session there is a serious issue.  Today both of Debbie’s eyes
still have a sparkle and the pupils are close to the same size, the left a little larger.  
Until 3 weeks ago the left eye has been fogy and twice as large pupils.   
Amber did PT with Bryan and Debbie they keep trying to get Debbie to stand up from
her wheelchair.  Bryan told me last week if Debbie does not use her legs she will for
get what they are there for.  The littlest thing like what our legs are used for Debbie
has to relearn and people who can walk take for granted.  Debbie is doing right foot
down transfer every time with Debbie which helps Amber’s back and Debbie to relearn
how to use her legs.
Robin (speech) came at 1:30 pm this afternoon Debbie has not tried to talk to me all
weekend so I was not surprised to see Debbie not wanting to communicate.  Robin
works with the muscles around Debbie’s mouth and in her tongue.   Robin said Debbie’
s tongue is not as tight here lately.  Another thing is Debbie has to stick out her tongue
on command 5 times in a row.  Debbie can do this some days and other days looks at
you like why.  Debbie is getting better once you explain why several times.  Today was
a off day and Robin took her finger and motion for me to came over to them.  I always
try to stay out of sight as not to distract Debbie.  When I went over and knelt down
beside Debbie’s wheelchair Debbie turned looked at me and gave me a big grin.  I
explained how Debbie had to work with Robin if she is every going to do a shallow
test.  I point a flashlight in Debbie’s mouth and asked her to stick out her tongue.  
Debbie did several times.  Next Robin wanted Debbie to hold a tongue depressor in
her lips to train her mouth muscles to close her lip on command.  Debbie did several
times and one time reached up with her right hand and turned the stick over her self.  
We ran over on time so Debbie did not get time to do flash cards.  This is some thing
we can do on our own after a break.
3pm OT Susanne came Debbie was on mat resting.  So I got Debbie back up in her
special chair and we practice taking her shirt off and put it back on.  At this point if
Debbie will lean forward, put her head down; push her arm though that is a start. Last
week Susanne showed Debbie to get her shirt off her right hand she needs to put her
hand to her side and shake her hand so it would drop off.  Today this worked good
after suggestion.  Debbie also practiced brushing her hair but would not reach her
hand out.  Still today was not a bad session.
Debbie has been calm all day until 5 pm when we were at the west window have
Debbie’s dinner formula and meds.  Tonight Debbie did not want to set there so we
moved to the living room. Debbie is still not happy and it is 7 pm maybe a leg work out
on the mat while she is laying down will help and if not we will try to lay on left side.  
Another note Debbie does not want me working on this laptop right now.  I put my left
hand in her lap to see if she would hold it instead Debbie picked up my hand and
moved it back to my chairs arm rest.  This is a first; it appears she wants all of my
attention.




March 12, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie slept great last night from 3am until 6 am with no suction needed.  This
morning her eyes are still like yesterday.  Today should be interesting.
Debbie has been calm all day only slight movement in her tongue and jaw.  The
right hand is not moving.  Today Debbie is holding her lips together better, she
keeps rubbing her forehead, jaws, lips and taking off her glasses and putting
them back on.  I have never seen Debbie taking off her glasses so much she
must  be having frontal lobe sensations.  Brain injury people that can talk tell
about brain buzz.  Debbie is more on than normal but when she is this on you
notice where the injury is worst.  I can tell Debbie notices it also by the way she
rubs and pull at her left arm, hand and leg. There has not been a suction issue
yet today this is great.
5:30 pm Debbie just finished meds and formula she is vary calm again.  At 3:30
pm Debbie was really jumping, kicking her right and jerking her right hand.  As
soon as I turned Debbie on her left side she stopped moving completely.  So I
reposition her arms and legs and we laid like that for an hour.  Debbie’s left
fingers loosened up completely, this is something to note for future reference.
6 pm it is 80 degrees a clear Carolina blue sky and the sunset is golden to
yellow in color we are so lucky to have this west window.  Debbie does not have
a lot that means much (material things) to her but she sure notices the sunsets.  
On a full moon I take Debbie to the mall to an outdoor water fountain. There are
3 restaurant patios, Debbie will take her right foot off of her wheelchair and put
it up on the curb of the fountain and watch the moon.  The people have a nice
dinner on the patios look at us like why would I take some one in a wheelchair
with a headrest.  Debbie does not notice the people she is looking up and
maybe the people just do not know what to think.  All I know is every time I take
Debbie some where the therapist say they can tell a difference in Debbie.  
When I take Debbie to the mountains on a trail by a river people walk 30’ off the
trail to not have to walk past us but Debbie she only notices the river.  This is a
rock trail with 4x4’s every 10’ Krystal pulls the front of chair and I push on some
of the bigger hills.  We got caught in an afternoon thunder storm one afternoon
last summer.  The ranger told us Krystal could go get the jeep and bring it down
the trail to pick Debbie and I up.  It was a mile to the parking lot.  We had no
umbrella so Debbie put her right hand up to her eyebrows to keep the water
from going in her eyes.  I may be crazy but at least Debbie knows I am not
going to give up.




March 11, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie had a good night sleep after her shower. Debbie went right to sleep
only needing her mouth cleaned two times.  At 5 am Debbie’s pulse/oxy alarm
went off. So when I checked Debbie had moved her left hand and pulled the
sensor off.  What is different is that I have only seen Debbie move her left thumb
a ½ “.  Now I know Debbie is able to move her left hand more so we will need to
practice this.  It appeared that Debbie was telling me she needed changed up
on further inspection.  Debbie never went back to sleep so our day starts early.  
One last note when I tried to get Debbie to go back to sleep she kept reaching
out for my hand as if she was afraid or not for sure where she was.  I knew this
was not going to work so I got in bed with her.  Debbie was calm after that but
still would not go back to sleep.     
I could tell 3 weeks ago there was change with Debbie appearing to be thinking
ahead but the last two day Debbie’s eye’s have been different in a good way
you can see personality or thought.  Another note while I have been working with
Debbie’s for an hour almost every night last night Debbie was moving her legs
3 or 4 times in the same pattern when we would change exercises.  Any
controlled movement is new and great.  The girls say mom does not want her
leg moved a 100 times reps but after years it appears to help.  
It is 11 am and Debbie has been so calm all morning setting in her wheelchair
but it is past time to get on mat and stretch.  After stretches Debbie did 25
minutes on standing frame left foot wanted to roll to outside.  Debbie has only
had a couple of saliva issue today calm with out extra meds.
It is 6 pm and soon we need to get on mat right leg is starting to kick.  Tonight
has been great we have worked out on mat twice and watched a movie.  
Debbie is not talking today but she is with me different than usual her eyes look
like Debbie used to look, not cloudy but wide open, bright and full of life.  The
girls are gone tonight and this house is to quite.
It is midnight and I just finished get all of Debbie’s braces on and in bed.  
Tonight Debbie keeps pulling at me, my shirt, my pants, and arm, neck, even
my mustached. I am going to lay with Debbie she appears not to know where
she is.  Well it is 2am and Debbie still will not go to sleep so I turn over with my
back towards her in my bed and I can feel her reaching over and pulling at my
blanket.  At 2:30 I got up and left Debbie alone in the bed room and finally she
went to sleep 3 am.  Tonight Debbie was calm on extra meds but really on.    
Debbie has been studying naturopathic medicine for 10 years and has a lot of
medical books, and there are pages with the corner folded over as if Debbie
was reading yesterday and wanted to mark her place like she was going to be
reading today.  It is like several things from the day of the accident.  Debbie had
been planting flowers on 4-3-03 and did not get finished so when I came home
from rehab 111 days later there were a lot of things just like Debbie left them as
if to finish the next day that never came.  Even her desk calendar is turned to 4-
4-03.  No one knows what tomorrow will bring.  So anyway back to the book. I
wanted to see what Debbie was reading about the day be for the accident. The
chapter name is THE BRAIN TREATMENT it is about Neurotransmitter,
Synapse in the spinal cord,  Microprocessor, and chemical signals.  Is this
meant for me to read how strange.  It goes on to say that a brain has to relearn
how to think before it can control balance something like that it will take a while
to read this thick med book.  But individual neurons are programmed and get
reprogrammed and the brain is memory system.  It does say any thing about
new brain cell but that it is not uncommon for it to take 5 years for a brain to
recover enough to relearn how to think.  I will read this book but probably not
under stand it is so strange this is what Debbie was studying the day before the
accident.
Today has been the calmest I can remember and Debbie be on or understand
her surroundings.   GREAT DAY!!!



March 10, 2006
Amber-
Overall today has been fantastic, even with 3 big saliva issues occurring.   My
day started with mom at 9:30 am, she was calm.  We did a short speech class,
just the two of us.  She used her breath to mouth several cards.  She did great
on 2 of the cards with 2 to 3 syllables.  I usually hold my fingers up while saying
the number for her to repeat.  This time I went straight from the cards to holding
my fingers up and saying “how many is this?”  I had her count 1-5.  She mouthed
each number very clearly.  I have never seen her do this.  We continued with a
piece of ice to moisten her dry throat.  She took it off the spoon very well.

She has been calm all day except for the 3 times mom had saliva problems.  
With the speech therapist, mom mouthed 2 words.  I believe this is the first time
for Robin to see her do this.  Mom pointed at me, I was sitting in the floor.  I think
she was tired of this and wanted me to jump in.  She was clearly pointed over to
the right and down at me, I wonder why she did this.  The occupational therapist
came after speech.  She said this was the best sitting balance she has ever
had with mom.  Mom began to have her 2nd saliva problem during this
session.  She kept working hard and still had outstanding control.  I was able to
clean her mouth out without stopping the therapy.

After 3 years we still have hard times, but they are different.  Mom is changing
everyday.  She can extend her right arm out on her own.  She can put her right
leg out straight.  She can hold her head up for awhile, at the beginning she
could not hold it up on her own.  She can turn her head at times.  Her balance
has changed tremendously.  Before, her left side would curve in like a C.  Her
shoulders would not be even or her hips would be off.  Now she can get her
shoulders inline, even out her hips most of the time, and she can maintain her
posture without leaning to the left.  She only learns to the left if she is tired or
someone is sitting on her left.  The muscles must have stretched and
strengthen.  We can ask her to sit up straight and she will pull her shoulders
back.  She is learning to hold her posture longer and longer each day.
She was sitting on the mat and I gave her a hug, guess what, she gave me one
back.  Wow.  There is nothing like a hug from your mother.  I remember all the
times I felt sad and a hug from her would take all that away.  In this type journey
there are such highs and lows of emotions within one hour, she can cure any
emotion with one look, touch, hug, smile, or expression.  
At 7 pm her and I tried the potty chair.  This is a big difference.  She used to
lean so far to the left she could fall off.  Right now she is sitting straight up and
not leaning at all.  She looks so independent.
In the past few months she has started to become alive more frequently and for
a longer amount of time.

At 7:40 pm mom began to have big drops of saliva in her mouth.  Her throat
was very dry and made her congestion stay in her throat.  I gave her a small
piece of ice to moisten her throat to loosen the debris.  She took the ice off of
the spoon in the correct way, placing her lips on the spoon pulling the ice in with
her tongue.  How we would if we were eating soup.  She moved the ice very well
in her mouth.  She put the ice on the right side of her mouth and began to chew.  
I asked her to close her mouth and swallow.  I touched her lips to help her close
them and she did it, swallowed with her mouth closed!!!  I have not seen this in
over 9 months.

At 9 pm mom is still having her 3rd saliva issue.  She is not getting over this one
as fast.


March 9, 2006
Jerrall-        
Debbie slept well last night.  Amber slept in Debbie’s room for the first time in
years and I slept in her bed from midnight until 4 am.  This was an undisturbed
rest which was great.  At 4 am we changed room and Amber said Debbie was
wet. We got Debbie changed without waking her up.  Last night Debbie did not
need suction which was great.  The only funny thing was Debbie got up at 5:30
am ready to start the day.  This is ok because after that 4 hour sleep I am ready
to do want ever Debbie wants to do.
Today it was my turn to go to the doctor for my ANNUAL PHYSICAL. Our time
ran over so I will have to come back next month to finish.  Debbie and Amber
went with me, a picture is worth a 1000 words if you know what I mean.  We all
had a good visit and the doc asked Amber if I was telling the truth. That is why I
asked Amber to go, I need everyone to know the truth or I can not get better.  
Everything on the out side looks ok it is the things you can not see that need
help.  I have had the same doctor for over 17 years this is the best thing.  This
doctor has also known Debbie for years and that Debbie has been my best
friend since we were 8 years old.  Today was the first time for my doc to see
Debbie since her accident.  This may be almost 3 years but for my doc this is
like day 1.
How do you go to your family doctor and tell him you can not sleep, can not hold
food down, that I no longer have any long term dreams and I can only take
everyday as it comes.  In short I have a broken heart.  I know there is no meds
that will fix these feelings but I need my girls to know how hard or serous I am
trying to get better.  Amber in the jeep, said she could tell I was doing better
than a year ago.  My health has always been great and something we never talk
about out in the open.  Everything is getting better for everyone, TIME is the
key.  Doc gave me a script and said to call back in a week I wonder if this will
change my energy level or the way I write or think.    
While waiting at the doc office I was acting like I was riding a horse and Debbie
just to make Debbie laugh.  It was working and this is a first.  When we got
home Debbie appeared to be happy to lie on her mat and stretch out. Debbie
has been having a saliva issue for the last two hours, I got Debbie up in her
chair and still needs suction at 8 pm. This is why just anyone can stay with
Debbie.  Grandma that worked in a hospital will not even stay with Debbie, she
only visit once or twice a year but I sure miss having some one that talks back to
me.

Amber-
One day you grow up and look back on your childhood and understand life so
much better.  Today I learned several things about my father; who he is on the
inside, why he does what he does, and an understanding that took 26 years to
learn.  This day may be the turning point for us to make a huge change that will
be the most positive force on our new journey.   The longer we all get to practice
(getting to know each other) the more we become a team working together
verses working against one another.  I may be young and have more of a life
ahead of me, but I feel more at home with mom and dad than moving on to a life
without them.  I would like to find a way for us all to move forward, getting mom
more independent, and each having a life that brings new memories about.  
Just because our lives have changed does not mean our lives are over.  We
have had good times within the hard times, we have laughed and smiled as
things lift up, we have experienced things that few people in the world have and
this has bonded us together with a connect that will never break.  I have no
regrets and love my parents more than they know.  My father always said you
must show love, not tell people in meaningless words.  In this type of lifestyle
(caregiver/therapist) you seem to build a wall to keep your feelings and
emotions trapped away.  You do the things you do for the love you have for
them, but does it feel like love to the ones receiving?  I feel like a robot at times,
just doing what has to be done to make it all work.  I react and go on.  Before I
used to cry, run thoughts over and over in my mind, and get down on a bad day.  
Now the days come and go while the main focus is to get mom independent.  
The battle of life and death is still around, but seems that her therapy has
superseded the fears of death.  We go to bed each night and act like tomorrow
will come for sure.  Before, we feared bed, with the feeling we would loose
everything the next day.  We have all come so far.  
Mom was on today and I saw her interact with dad very well.  She gave him
kisses on his face and hand several times.  They are so in love and it is so
wonderful to see this in person.
Her and I have our own way to communicate only I can understand.  Dad and
her have their own way to.  Watching to two of them warms your heart more than
you can imagine.  Mom and dad I love you so much and I will always be here for
you.  You have given me so much and I have feel loved my entire life.  Even in
the toughest times we had in my childhood, I thought they were the best.  In
those times I felt like I had two best friends and the world was our playground.  
Thanks again.
Over for ovens big decisions work




March 8, 2006
Jerrall-
Debbie did not wake up all night but required suction all night, two nights in a
row.  I even did extra benadril twice during the night.  At 8:30 am I rolled Debbie
on her left side to change her panties and she went back to sleep before we
were done.  Debbie looked so comfortable I didn’t move her for an hour and I
just laid there watching.  At 9:30 am when I turned her on her back to get her
dressed I saw 4” of liquid hanging out of her left nostril and her left eye was red
and swollen I guess the last two nights have been sinus drainage from pollen
but I have never seen this in three years. We put a call into primary care to ask
about this drainage.  It looked like spinal fluid not sinus drainage, this would be
worst case only time will tell.  After a couple of hours every thing was ok. Amber
did PT with Bryan and Debbie.

Amber-
This morning at 11 am mom moved her left foot a tiny bit.  I lifted her left foot by
the heel and stretched her foot side to side.  I asked her to move her foot, she
did (her left foot slightly moved side to side ¼ inch, 2 times).  This is not a tone
reaction to touch.  If it was she would have just pulled in.  It is considered a
movement because she went one way and then another and not just one time.  
She also wiggled her left toes 2 small times.  Last night she did this same
thing.  I have not seen her do this in over 9 months.  I loved it. PT came at 1:15
pm.  Mom was feeling better so he stretched her legs and had her do sit to
stand holding onto the pool table.  The point of this exercise is to teach her to
push her body up to a standing position using her right arm strength.  She kept
her hand down on the edge for the first bit and then put it on Bryan’s arm for
support.  She did put her right hand out onto the pool table on her own and sat
on the edge of her chair by herself.  He told her this was great.  He also told her
that she is really learning to control her tone to use in her advantage.  He
seemed happy.  She gave him a really hard work out, as much he gave her it
seemed.  I do not do much in her therapy with Bryan.  I usually hold her left foot
straight as she stands or hold other places or help move what ever he needs
help with.  I try not to ask questions, if I do it seems to break mom’s
concentration.  When the two of them get on a roll with concentration I feel like I
am not needed.  This feels so odd, I want to help, I just feel so left out.  I know he
is doing a good job, but I am not used to not being the one working with mom.  I
am glad she is beginning to open up and work with others.  It is healthy for her, I
find it hard to let her go and be more independent.  My mom told me one day
that the hardest thing about having children was letting go when they grow up to
be 18.  I now see in many ways what she meant.  I see in mom’s changes and
my sister growing up and moving on.

Jerrall-
It is 6 pm and Debbie is in kitchen looking out west window where we always
have formula and dinner meds.  Tonight is different because when we were
finished she did not want to move until the sunset was all the way down.  Before
the accident Debbie always said if you not looking up you are missing the
whole story. Tonight it is a winter sunset mostly cloudy Carolina blue and white
with a little gray.  At the horizon it is white with shades of blue to gray.  There are
no reds, yellows, or bright colors just calm and peaceful colors.  No wonder
Debbie doesn’t want to leave, it is like looking at a every changing painting.  It
is amazing the things we all take for granted can make such a difference in
others life.  All of us need to take the time to look up once in a while and be vary
thankful.  I though this was worth making a note of, Debbie sure made me
notice.




March 7, 2006
Today we go to Nero and we both get out of the house so I will not write so
much.  You know when you look so forward to some thing and it is not as good
as you expected.  That was last night. Debbie got to sleep by 11:30 pm and I
got to sleep by 12:30.  Debbie slept until 8 am which is great but I have to start
suction and keep her mouth clean from 1 am on all night.  At 3:30 am I was able
to change Debbie with out waking her up that was great and Debbie does not
have a cold that is great.  It must be a Nero thing any way it sure takes the fun
out of it.
It is 11 am Debbie is resting on the mat. She is all dresses and just waiting to
go out side, me too! Trip to Doc was great Debbie was calm and relaxed. She
really enjoyed the stone walls and water features at the new Nero office.  The
people that work there are always happy and want to help. We are back at
home now resting on mat again.  In 1 hour Debbie has a support group meeting
at her old rehab gym brings back a lot of memories.  They had a guest speaker
Cindy that was great and really made every one think twice.  I have found this
group the best therapy for Debbie, myself and our girls than anything yet.  There
are so many different type of people and every one is at there own point at
recovery. Some are 20 years post injury and I am learning to love every one of
them in there own way.  The boy Bobby that Debbie bowled with Saturday sat
across the room and we don’t even talk but gave thumbs up or even a look and
we both knew what we mean. I have never been prouder and humbler in my
whole life.  Debbie held her interest most of the time it is hard for me to set still
an hour and a half Debbie you did great.
Got home by 9:30 pm took shower and off to bed.  Debbie went to sleep early
every one had a long day.
GREAT DAY!!


March 6, 2006
Debbie still was not asleep at 3 am, so I got in bed with her lying on her back
and  was on her left side. She had no braces on and her legs were over mine.
With her right hand still jumping we had to try something different.  For the first
time ever in bed, I rolled her on her left side and she went to sleep in my arms
just like when we do this on the family room mat. We were on our side until 4
am.  Lying like that must take pressure off of her rib or hips.  Once she went to
sleep I got in my bed and I laid Debbie on her back like usual.  When I put the
pillow under her head and turned her neck to the right I could hear Debbie
snoring. So the left side of her air way must be smaller and restricts the quantity
of breaths.  It is 4:30 am and Debbie is a sleep.  My turn in my bed I hope.
This morning Debbie is awake at 8 am just like she had a full nights sleep.  It
took me until 9 am to get her dressed, her face washed and to get her ready for
therapy. Debbie watched Regis while she had breakfast and morning meds,
every thing was ok until 9:45 am. That is when her right eye started its thing
instead of the saliva issue.  I know PT, OT, and Speech will be here starting at
11 am I hope Debbie gets feeling better by then.  We laid on the mat and then
rocked back and forth on the mat.  5 minutes before PT came Debbie got
control back of her right eye, but her still has extra tone.   
Bryan came and said good morning Debbie every thing was quite for a few
minutes.  Debbie never said anything, but Bryan picked up her right leg and
started stretching it and talking as if Debbie was going to have a conversation.  
Debbie will work with someone that includes her and does not talk around her.  
Debbie is setting in a kitchen chair instead of her wheelchair and Bryan said
lets stand up.  It seemed different watching and not helping, but together they
stood up mainly on Debbie’s right toe and did a pivot onto the mat.  There they
worked on setting balance and weight bearing for 45 minutes.  Debbie did a
great job, Bryan only directed at one point and Debbie was able to follow the
commands to adjust.  Bryan was clapping at one point, it was great to watch
how focused both of them were on each other.  Ten minutes before they were
finished Debbie fell back on Bryan and he said we are not done yet and Debbie
pulled herself back up to finish.  I have never seen Debbie work so hard.  Great
job Debbie.    
Debbie had lunch in her wheelchair with it leaned back in kitchen and a 30
minute rest.  Susanne came at 12:30 just as we were finishing lunch.  Susanne
said did you sleep last night to Debbie and she nodded yes I nodded no and
Susanne said who is telling the truth.  I think Debbie thought she slept good last
night.  I asked where do you want to work and Susanne said have we ever
worked at the dinning room table.  I said yes and before I turned around she had
taken Debbie in her wheelchair to the dining room.  Do I look that tired? This is
the first time in 6 months Debbie has sat under the table.  So I got the 3 yellow
pages out and raised the table up so Debbie’s wheelchair would fit.  So if you
come over for dinner expect to see the table 3” taller.  Susanne tried to get
Debbie to work with the rings, rocks, or any reaching exercises but Debbie
would not do anything.  I was in next room watching but did not want Debbie to
see me.  So I came in and said I think Debbie does not see a reason or
understand this exercise today.  If we practice taking off and putting on another
shirt I know Debbie would relate because we do this every day and Debbie is
helping more everyday.  Susanne was vary happy with Debbie’s help and said
she could tell how much better Debbie was helping.  Debbie appears to me to
be thinking more about what she does instead of just following commands.  
This is a good thing and can make more of a challenge to get her to work.    
Speech came 10 minutes after OT left this is more therapy than usual but
Debbie has a Nero appointment tomorrow to have pump refilled.  Robin said
today was better than Friday, thank God but want does that mean.  Robin also
said that out of the three brain injury people she work with the difference is
Debbie is not trying 100%.  I will not say any more but that makes you think what
can I do to help or ect.
Amber is home tonight and it is 8:30 pm once I pick Debbie up and put into her
bed I can get some sleep.  I hope I can wake up by 2 am because I know
Debbie will need changed by then. Today has been a good day, everybody
learned something.




March 5, 2006
Today is Sunday and has started differently than usual.  Debbie had sinus
drainage all night long, every 30 minutes suction was required.  The oxygen
alarm never went off that is the best thing.  I changed Debbie at 4 am. So far I
have not woken her up all night but not having good air flow reduces quality of
your sleep, I guess.  Last night ended with Debbie hanging onto my thumb.  This
morning at 10 am Debbie woke up pulled the dry towel off her eyes, messed up
her hair then reached back up to her forehead with her right hand to move her
hair from her eyes.  I helped her and took the tape off her left eye she was
reaching to take it off  also.  No one can tell me Debbie can not feel.  In a low
voice I said GOOD MORNING MOM its me Jerrall and Debbie smiled.  I loosen
Debbie’s right leg brace but did not take it off and Debbie did not pull her leg
out she just did not want to be restrained I guess.  All of this happened in less
than a minute.  I looked back up at Debbie and she was back asleep and
holding onto my shirt.  So I am lying down beside her, Debbie’s hand is on top
of mine.  Since I can not move I have the laptop by the bed, I wanted to make
these notes.  I wish the coffee pot and Advil were next to this bed, I hope that is
not selfish to have those feelings.  Again the silence is the hardest part of this
for me.  I still can not make this laptop talk to me. 10:30 am.
It is noon and Debbie is still asleep.  Last Sat and Sun she would not go to
sleep.  Everyday is something new.  Hope Debbie is awake for speech
tomorrow. It is 1 pm Debbie is still asleep.  I am going to get her up in her
wheelchair and if she wants to still sleep she can, but we can not get days and
nights turned around.  Here goes to change.  Change is a good thing now it is 2:
30 pm and Debbie is up, dressed, finished with lunch and ready for the day.  
Debbie does not appear to be happy about being up but she has to feel better.  
I always feel better with my face washed and clean clothes.
This afternoon Debbie appeared to still be tired so we sat on mat for 20
minutes and Debbie did ok I could see she was having to work to keep her
balance.  But when I sat on her right side Debbie would lean right, same with left
side.  As if she could not control her muscles but I know that she can do this
right.  So I used this to get Debbie to exercise or at least make an effort.  If we
sat for 20 minutes then at least 20 times I changed which side I sat on.  Every
time Debbie would lean towards me I would move before she could put her
head on my shoulder.  This was a good work out we will do this  everyday now I
noticed what was going on.  Debbie got so tired I laid her on her left side on the
mat and she went to sleep for a half hour.  Thanks to Krystal giving me the
mirror I could see her eyes.  This was a deserved nap.  To get Debbie to get
with the program, Krystal waiting an hour for Debbie to do standing frame.  
Krystal decided this would be a good time for thinning Debbie’s eyebrows and
waxing around her mouth.  This got Debbie’s attention in a good way.  Debbie
had just started a company FOREVER YOUNG a few months before her
accident.  This kind of stuff has always been impo